▶ Your Answer : Some people think that drivers should not pay a fee to be allowed to drive their cars during the time of day when there is heavy traffic. However, in my opinion, it is better to pay a fee to be allowed to drive their cars for two reasons. To begin with, drivers should pay a fee to protect environment by decreasing the cars on the road. To explain, the environment should never come as in second place. Once the environment is destroyed destructed, it cannot be recovered. If we think about the next generation to come, we must do everything we can to protect the environment, and one way is by issuing a fee to drivers to pay a fee to be allowed to drive their cars during the busy time. For example, a study was conducted by a group of environments major in Korea to determine whether carbon dioxide from cars could affect global warming. There were two cities monitored. The first city was formed of citizen who pays a paid fee for their cars. They were asked to take tests to measure their level of carbon dioxide. The other city consisted of citizens who do not pay a fee did not pay a fee for their cars and were given the same direction. The researchers compared the outcomes and recorded that the former city emitted lower carbon dioxide to the atmosphere than the latter. This study demonstrates that drivers should pay a fee to protect environment by decreasing the cars on the road. In addition, by paying a fee to be allowed to drive their cars during the time, people will be more motivated to use more the public transportation system such as subway, eventually they can save a lot of time. People are living in a busy and hectic life, so saving time means they can do a lot more later. However, there are too many cars on the road during the time of day when there is heavy traffic, and it can cause a lot of time for people take too much time of people. By using the subway, they can save a lot of time. For instance, when I was in a former company, I always used the subway to commute to work. One day, I used my own car to commute and it took more on hour than when I used the subway. After all, I have been got late to work, and I have not been using did not use my car in commute time anymore since then. It has had such a huge influence on me that I believe that drivers should pay a fee to decrease the number of cars during heavy traffic, and they can save a lot of time. To sum up, drivers should pay a fee to protect environment by decreasing the cars on the road. Moreover, drivers should pay a fee to decrease the number of cars during heavy traffic, and they can save a lot of time. In this regard, I firmly believe that drivers should pay a fee to be allowed to drive their cars during the time of day when there is heavy traffic. 예상 점수: 14-17 총평: 일단 필요없이 글을 길게 쓰시는 경황이 있으신 것 같습니다. 단어들을 조금 더 간단하고 명료하게 쓰셔야 글의 의미가 더 명확하게 전달됩니다. 현재 많은 문장들이 쓸데없는 부연 설명이 많아서 글이 이해하기 난해합니다. 또한 문법적으로 봤을 때 시제와 관련해서 오류가 많습니다. 과거형 시제를 쓰실 때를 명확하게 구분해서 쓰세요. 내용과 구성에서는 크게 문제가 없었습니다. 수고 많으셨습니다.
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