Whether you are an adult or a child, it is very useful to get some advice from others because you think others have more objective points of view than yourself to your concerns. However, there are many cases that others' advice is not helpful at all because it is you that know the particular situation and it is also you that take the responsibility coming from the decision.
The first reason it is unlikely that others' advice is so important is that you youself know the whole circumstances surrounding your concerns, not other peple. No matter how much you try to explain the entire circumstances surrounding your matter, it will not be effective because others should only rely on your comments in order to give some advice. That is, it is not easy for them to know your specific situation. For example, when you have a trouble with one of your friends, you may ask another friend to get some ideas to slove the matter. However, you may have heard that almost every possible way was within the boundary that you previously had thought of. In addition, their comments start from "If I were you", which also implies that the adviser can never be you and never be in the same situation because the available advice originates from the conditional context. As such, it is not easy to get some practical solutions to your problems from other people except you.
The other problem is that other people cannot give you a specific idea or a solution because they do not want to be responsible for the undesirable consequences as a result of their advice. In other words, although they can give some solutions to your concerns, they are unwilling to present crucial solutions since theirs can be wrong in the end, and they are afraid of making mistakes regarding your matter. In that case, they know very well they should be responsible for the advice they give. If this is true, it will not be esay for them to give ideas straightforwardly toward you since they may have to take on responsibilities that come from their advice. To avoid the uncomfortable situation, they may deliberately give you and make up some general ideas or solutions rather than honest ones to your conerns because it is the best way to escape from the responsibility just in case. For example, "if you try hard, you can do it", "Look on the bright side", and "Be positive" are the conventional advice that generalize their specific advice, and these can never be solutions to your problems.
All things considered, it is evident that others' advice is not always necessary and accurate because they do not want to be in the tricky situation due to their honest ideas or advice. After all, it is you that decide which direction you will take since you are the main character in your life story. |