▶ Your Answer :
Some people think
comprehending the past is important for solving problems facing us now and in
the future, while others do not. Both sides may have their own reasons to
suppport their views. If I had to choose one, I would say that understanding
the past plays a significant role in solving recent and future problems. There
are several reasons as follows.
To begin with,
analyzing the past experience can help people solve the problems quickly. When
people meet some obstacles, there must be a person or a group who dealt with
the same problems before. As By studying the past case, people can figure out solutions more instantly. For example, when I was in college, I was worried about my
future career and could not select my job that suited for my life goals. I
discussed my problems with a job consultant in the college and he gave me a lot
of advices (불가산 명사입니다) from his experience as a consultant. I could select my own career as
soon as I received advices from him. If it had not been for his knoweldge from
the past, I would not have been able to make my decision that quickly.
In addition, by
learning the past, people can reduce a the likelihood of making mistakes. Past
experiences allow people to imagine calculate the a results of a certain situations. Therefore, people
are able to avoid a choice which would lead to bad results. According to a
survey conducted by Seoul National University of Korea, over seventy percent of
MBA professors answered that past cases of businesses are the most essential
source of their lectures. This clearly shows that understanding the past is key
to success in completing a one's task.
All things
considered, I strongly believe that learning the past is beneficial for solving
the problems facing us. All in all, the past experience should not be
underestimated.
Score: 23 Comments: - 구조가 잘 잡혀있습니다. - 사소한 문법 실수들이 있습니다. - 전체적으로 제시하신 이유가 매우 적절하고 설명도 잘 되어있으나, 조금 더 구체적이었으면 좋았을 것 같습니다. 특히, 조금 더 빨리 문제를 해결할 수 있다는 내용의 본론1은 그 이유를 더 구체적이고 논리적으로 설명해주셔야 할 것 같습니다. 아니면 job consultant말고 다른 더 적절한 예시를 선택해주셨으면 좋았을 것 같아요. - 주제가 많이 어려운데도 불구하고 브레인스토밍을 잘 해주셨네요, 수고하셨습니다.
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