▶ Your Answer : The lecturer argues that the conclusion
that severe drought is the cause of Anasazi’s disappearance is controversy=논란 (교수는 ~이 논란이라고 주장한다로 해석이 되어서 어색합니다). This
contrasts the reading passage’s claim that Anasazi abandoned their homeland in
response to a harsh drought.First, the lecturer suggests that the discovery
of the Anasazi’s bone that which shows their malnutrition, cannot prove anything. The
malnutrition is was highly common in the Anasazi’s society. Above 45 percentage of
children suffered from malnutrition. Since they used crops in religious ceremonies ceremony
and the lower class have fewer chances to get enough foods (Since ~, since절 다음에 주절이 나와야합니다, 아니면 바로 직전 문장 (Above ~)와 한 문장이 되게끔 해주세요). This casts doubt on
the reading passage’s claim that the Anasazi’s grave is Anasazis suffered from signal of malnutrition
and it due to a caused by lack of rainfall.
Second, the lecturer explains that if
Anasazi abandoned their settlement because of its condition (어떤 컨디션인지 구체적으로 써주세요), why they did not
come back (어색합니다, (the lecturer explains that the Anasazi would have come back if it was only the condition that made them to abandon their settlement). The settlement’s climate is returned to normal after a few years. If they
abandoned their home town hometown because of the drought, they should be would have returned, but they
did not. This counters the reading passage’s claim that Anasazi leave left their
land because of the ground’s condition (더 구체적으로 서술해주세요).
Finally, the lecturer asserts that the new
settlement has did not have enough water. The new settlement that Anasazi selected is
located about near/in Arizona, in United States US. This land has insufficient water amount that it is not
suitable to agriculture society. Moreover, this settlement offers harsher condition
than the first homeland. This refutes the reading passage’s claim that new colony has
reliable water supplies.
Score: 10 Comments: - 구조가 잘 잡혀있습니다. - 주요 내용을 잘 담아주셨으나 설명이 매끄럽지 못한 부분들이 있습니다. - 조금 더 명확한 설명이 필요해보입니다. - 문법 실수들이 있습니다. |