▶ Your Answer :
It
is debatable whether a teacher's ability to get along with students in is more
important than the ability to give knowledge. This is an intriguing question
because opinions concerning with this issue can be different relying depending on the
individual perspectives. In my opinion, however, I support that it is more
essential for teacher to get along with students that than to teach knowledge.
First
of all, having a good time with their students helps to broaden their perspectives.
To be specific, it is beneficial for teachers to build meaningful relationships
with students, which as a result allow them to better understand other
cultures, lifestyles, and perspectives. As modern society is becoming has become
increasingly globalized, today's world requires teachers with international
views. They can do this by talking with their students and connecting student's
emotions. To illustrate, Steve Jobs, who is the founder of Apple, made great
accomplishments in his lifetime. I read online that he was very successful
because he was global-minded and culturally sensitive. He did this by having
meaningful time with his students when he is was a part-time teacher. Therefore,
this prove that teachers should get along with students in order to broaden
their views. (스티브 잡스의 예보다는 실질적인 선생님의 예가 좀 더 나았을 거 같습니다)
In
addition, having a good time with students is important for teachers because it
helps them learn about building how to build a relationships with others. In other word,
talking with their students creates opportunities for teachers to learn about today's
new and fashion, which as a result allows allow them to learn how to build
relationships through communicating their thoughts and connecting to each
other's feeling. Building relationships is a great way to develop the
increasingly important social, interpersonal, and communication skills. To
illustrate, Bill Gates, who is the founder of Microsoft, has made great
accomplishments in his lifetime. I read an article that he was very successful
because he was able to build meaningful relationships (누구와의 의미있는 관계를 생성한건지에 대한 구체적인 설명 필요). He did this by making
relationships with his professor and identifying about social problems.
Therefore, this proves that teachers should build relationships with students.
It is more beneficial for professor to have a good time with student than to
give knowledge.
All things considered, it is my belief that
my argument regarding with this topic has been effectively and precisely delivered
with the reasons. Fair: `17~23 점수: 23 일단 먼저 첫 번째 문제점은 피할 수 있었던 문법적 오류들이 있었습니다. 에세이를 쓰시고 난 후 proofreading을 했으면 고칠 수 있었던 오류들을 만드신거 같습니다. 또한 바디에서 몇몇 문장들이 구체적인 설명이 들어가야지만 이해할 수 있었던 부분이 있었습니다. 명확하게 어떤 뜻인지 확실하게 보여주는것이 가장 좋을 거 같습니다. 수고하셨습니다.
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