▶ Your Answer : Some people think modern building is more useful than old one. However I disagrees this opinion for two essential reasons. First the government can earn the traveling costs from foreign travelers. Second, people can learn the past just seeing the historic building.
First of all, the government can receive money from travelers who visit our country. Frankly, this issue is actually doubled-edged sword. I do admit the historic buildings are not useful anymore. However, I believe the disadvantages of historic buildings overshadows the advantages concerning the fact that it can earn lots of traveling cost. According to the survey done by traveling department in Korea, with 200 foreign people as respondents. The 72% of them answered they tend to go historical places when they go travel abroad. They also responded seeing other country’s historical buildings is the most interesting when they are traveling because they can broaden their sight seeing other’s culture. In this regard I believe that government can earn lots of traveling money from the historic building.
Moreover, people can imagine about people who lived in the past. Buildings show the contemporary incidents not only people’s thinking but also government’s policy (이 부분은 무슨 뜻인가요?). This is because people make building with their thinking, so building absorbs their thinking. Therefore people can predict the atmosphere in the past. ( 더 설명이 필요 할 거 같아요 왜 우리가 과거의 환경을 예측할 수 잇는지) This is why almost schools plan to go historical place for the school trip. They want to learn for students about the past. In my case, I always went for my school trip to Gyeongju which is the best historical place in Korea. My high school teacher said if he see the historical building, he can feel the maker’s mind. I didn’t did not understand his saying at that time, but now I can know what he said. For these reasons I think historic building is helpful to know the past.
To sum up, I disagree that the government should allow old historic buildings to be destroyed and replaced with modern ones because the government can earn traveling money and people can learn the past with historic buildings. Consequently, the importance of my view cannot be underestimated for the reasons that I have mentioned above. Fair: 17~23 점수: 23 일단 전반적으로 에세이는 잘 쓰셨습니다 하지만 두 번째 바디에 문제가 많습니다. 일단 예시나 설명이 이유를 잘 서포트 하지 못합니다. 특히 빨간 색 줄은 설명이 필요해야만 왜 작성자가 그 부분을 썻는 지 알 수 있을 거 같습니다. 또한 문법적 오류들도 있으니 참고해주시길 바랍니다. 수고 많으셨습니다. |