▶ Your Answer : There is a controversial issue whether most
advertisements make products seem much better than they really are. This topic
is an intriguing question because opinions regarding this topic can be
different depending on individual perspectives. In my opinion, however, I support
that products in advertisements are made on exaggeration for the following
reasons.
To begin with, the purpose of an advertisement
is to sell products in order to survive. Therefore, many companies should exaggeratedly
make when advertising goods to attract customers. In this process, many products in
an advertisement are likely to seem like much better than the real product. For
example, when I went to a ramen restaurant selling a Lamen a few days ago, there were
artificial Lamen pictures and real life size figures of ramen in front of the entrance door. I chose one Lamen ramen that it had a lot of
beef in the advertising good because I like beef. However, when I got the Lamen
ramen I was shocked. This cause was because that real Lamen had little beef.
Second, the development of technology had made it
possible to advertise products more exaggeratedly. Plastic products or pictures
are look really interestingly looked as the technology is used. In fact, many
merchandises products in advertisement are made up of diverse technologies. As a result,
those goods in ads are produced more effectively than real one. To be specific,
in the past, many pictures were limited in scope to describe products because of a
lack of photographic technology. However, we cannot be surprised in modern
society. Since a 3D printer is developed, we can see 3D pictures in ads
some advertisements products. This technology allows companies advertiser to improve their advertisements advertising goods.
In conclusion, products in advertisements are
made on exaggeration. All things considered, it is my belief that my argument
concerning this topic has been precisely and effectively delivered with the
reasons mentioned above. Never should we forget that this issue may have a huge
impact in our future.
Score: 17 Comments: - 전체적인 구조가 잘 잡혀있습니다.
- 크고 작은 문법 실수들이 있습니다. - ramen이 꼭 맞는 스펠링은 아니지만 대체로 ramen으로 쓰기 때문에 다음에 쓸 때는 r로 써주세요. 그리고 음식 이름의 첫 철자를 대문자로 안하시는 것이 더 좋습니다. - 제시하신 이유 다 적절합니다. 그런데 본론2에서 설명을 이해하기가 어렵습니다. 조금 더 논리정연하게 써주세요. 무엇보다 예시에서 3D 프린터를 언급하셨는데, 그러면 더 실제 제품과 비슷해 보이지 않나요? 그런 기술 보다 포토샵이나 이런 쪽으로 예시를 들어주시는 것이 더 주제에 맞을 것 같습니다. 또한, 본론2에서는 왜 그게 실제와 다른지에 대한 설명이 많이 다뤄지지 않아서 아쉬웠습니다.
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