▶ Your Answer :
Some people
argue that enjoying cinema is a more satisfying hobby than reading books.
However, I believe that reading books has preeminent benefits with quality
satisfying. This is because books help people to improve their learning ability
and recent movies tend to negatively affect to people.
To begin
with, reading books help helps people not only to enjoy their time, but also to
improve their educational achievement. While people are reading read books, their
thinking ability is continually stimulated by logics logic (logic은 셀 수 없는 단어 입니다) and words of the book.
That is why many parents in the world encourage their children to read books.
With regards to this matter, a study was conducted by the Korea Development
Institute to determine whether reading habit helps students’ educational
performance. The 400 samples were divided into two groups. One group is for the
200 students who read books on a regular basis. The other group is for the counterpart.
The researchers observed the samples over 10 years. According to the study, the
former group achieved remarkably higher school records than the other group. It
means that there is a significant correlation between reading pastime and
educational achievement.
In addition,
there are many people who concern about the negative effect of movies. As mass
media has dramatically developed, students are more likely to be exposed to
them without proper guidance. Also, it is a well-known fact that young people
tends tend to be affected by media since they are not matured enough. However, many
experts point out that the increasing crimes of children are mainly owing to
the violent mass media represented by cinemas. The Seoul National University
conducted an experiment to investigate what extent the violence of cinema
affects to behavior of children. The researchers randomly selected 200 samples
and showed them a violent movie for 2 hours. After watching the movie, the
participants were being interviewed with a structured questionnaire to evaluate
the change. The research team concluded that children who exposed to crime scenes
are more likely to mimic the behaviors in the movie.
To sum up, the reading books help helps people to improve their educational capability with intelligence development, and increasing concerns on the violence cinemas have to be seriously emphasized. In this regards, I firmly believe that reading is more recommendable than watching movies. Good:24~30 점수: 26 아주 잘 서술된 에세이입니다. 칭찬하고 싶은 부분이 여러개 있습니다. 일단 첫 번째는 구조적으로 아주 잘 잡힌 에세이입니다 인트로에서 바디 결론까지 군더더기가 없는 구조였습니다. 두 번째는 각 바디의 예시들이 이유를 잘 서포트 해주고 있습니다. 또한 전체적인 설명이 사람들로 하여금 왜 본인이 이러한 이유를 생각하게 됬는지를 잘 알 수 있었습니다. 아주 잘 서술된 독립형 에세이 입니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |