▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly, the way students spend their
time plays a significant role in their lives in many of the places where they
work or play. Some people think that parents should limit the hours of watching
TV programs or movies for their children to do well in school, while others think differently. Both sides may have their own reasons to support their views. If I had to
choose one, I would say that parents should limit the hours of watching TV
programs or movies if they want their children to do well in school. There are
several reasons as follows.
To begin with, when parents limit the hours
of watching TV programs or movies, their children can spend more time doing their homework. Spending much time
doing their homework help helps them to cultivate important qualities needed
for success. It requires them to be diligent, passionate and self-disciplined.
When these personal traits are developed, it is likely to bring brings about a better result
in school. For example, many research teams, including the Tokyo Research
Center, analyzed data from two groups of children. One group consisted of those
who had spent two hours every day doing their homework and the other
group was made up of those who had spent less than one hours each day doing their homework.
The researchers found that the former was more likely to have a higher score on
SAT than the latter. In particular, the first group showed a longer attention
span, a stronger passion in their tasks, and a better ability to delay
gratification. On the other hand, the second group tended to get distracted
easily, procrastinate, and act on impulse. This implies that having more
time on their homwork intead homework instead of watching TV programs or movies is the key to success, academically as well as professionally.
In addition, when children have limited
time on watching TV, it enables them to have more time to sleep and recharge
their batteries. Having more sleep and recharging their batteries allows
them to refocus on their days. For example, when my youngest brother was in
middle school, he often felt depressed thinking that his life became has become an
exhausting routine. To survive in a competitive world, he spent the whole day
studying all academic subjects, hoping that he could outdo others. Fortunately,
he was able to deal with such pressure and stress in a safe way by spending
more time sleeping instead of watching TV programs and movies. By doing this, he was able to let
off some steam and recharge his batteries.
All things considered, I strongly believe
that parents should limit the hours of watching TV for their children to
perform better in school. All in all, the importance of spending less time
watching TV programs and movies cannot be overestimated in the pursuit of success. Good: 24~30 점수: 27 아주 잘 서술된 에세이입니다. 전체적인 내용으로나 논리적인 것을 보았을때도 아주 설득력 있는 에세이였습니다. 특히 각 바디의 예시들이 이유를 잘 서포트해주고 있습니다. 보통 독립형에세이를 서술할 때 문제되는 것이 구체적인 설명에 대한 것인데, 위 글쓴이는 아주 구체적으로 본인의 이유를 서포트하였기에 좋은 에세이인거 같습니다. 앞으로 이렇게 계속 이런 방식으로 서술하시면 원하는 점수를 얻을 수 잇을 거 같습니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |