▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly, developing skills plays a significant role in people's daily lives in many of the places where they work or play. Some people think that developing many different skills is better than focusing on one skill while others think differently. Both sides may have their own reasons to support thier their views. If I had to choose one, I would say that developing many different skills is better than focusing on one skill in order to succeed. There are several reasons as follows.
To begin with, developing various skills can help people to cultivate important qualities to succeed. Learning and practicing many different things requires them to be diligent, passionate, and self-disciplined. For example, Tokyo University Research team found a huge difference between two groups of high school students. The first group consisted of those who developed more than three different skills in the school, while the other group was made up of those who focused on only one skill. The researchers foun found that the former had a higher score on SAT test than the latter. In particular, the first gruop group tended to have a longer attention span, a stronger passions in their tasks, and a better ability to delay gratification. On the other hand, the second group had a tendancy tendency to get distracted easily, procrastinate, act on impulse. This implies that developing various skills is the key to succeed academically as well as professionally.
In addition, developing many different skills can contribute to an increase of in people's overall happiness. When people put effort to develop various skills, they are likely to feel higer higher sense of achievement. For instance, my younger brother often felt depressed thinking that his life became exhausting routine. To survive in a competitive world, he spent the whole day studying all the academic subjects such as chemistry and mathematics, hoping outdo others. Fortunately, he was able to deal with such stress and pressure after he developed many different skills. In particular, he felt a great sense of achivement achievement after he learned diffrent different languages such as Spanish and French after school. Without this experience, his like life would still have been stressful.
All things considered, I strongly believe that the advantage of developing many different skills far outweigh that of focusing on one skill for the reasons I have mentioned above. All in all, getting various skills cannot be overestimated in the pursuit of success. Good: 24~30 점수: 26 각 바디의 예시들이 본인의 이유를 가장 잘 서포트해주고 있는 거 같습니다. 독립형 에세이에서 중요하게 보는 것이 두 개가 있습니다. 일단 첫 번째는 본인읭 에세이가 상대방을 설득할 수 잇느냐 와 문법적인 부분입니다. 지금 이 에세이는 각 바디의 적절한 예시 사용과 구체적인 설명 때문에 이유들을 잘 서포트 하고 있습니다. 약간의 문법적오류들이 있지만 대채로 철자적 오류기 때문에 에세이를 서술하시고 proofreading을 하는 것이 좋을 거 같습니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |