▶ Your Answer :
People become a friend through various ways. Some
might say that people can learn a lot about other people by the friends they
have. In my opinion, however, people cannot learn about other people by the
friends they have. This is mainly because there are many reasons of people
becoming friends, and some people become friends, although they are different
from each other.
First of all, there are various ways of people
becoming as a friend. This is attributable to the fact that many properties can
lead people to become friends. That is, not only pure preference and
inclination but also social factors can affect a person becoming a friend to others.
For example, I always become a friend with all of the students in my class. I got
along a lot with them in school years, so I had a very tight and strong connection
with every single one of them. However, people cannot assume about my characteristics,
behaviors, or personalities by learning about my classmates, because my classmates
and I became friends with each other due to a social boundary called a class. This
indicates that numerous people become friends not because of their similarities
but a sort of social circumstance. 뭔가 개연성이 부족해보입니다. 이 에세이의 주제를 잘 서포트 못하고 있는 거 같습니다. 이 에세이의 주제는 칠구를 통해서 사람의 성격을 알 수 있냐에 대한 에세이인데. 성격에 대한 언급이 하나 도 없습니다 연관성과 개연성이 부족해 보이는 단락입니다.
Secondly, there are many friends even though they
are different from each other. For instance, I am a very outgoing type of person,
and I also have very strong political disposition. However, among the three of
my best friends, two of them are very introvert, and they also have very
different point of views on politics compared to my point of views. It will be not
easy for people to learn about me by knowing my best friends. This indicates
that people become friends regardless of the similarities they share with each
other. In a recent statistical study conducted by a research group at the Korea
University revealed that there are no significant relationships between a
friendship and the personalities shared with friends. This illustrates that the
opinion asserting that people tend to build close relationship with people
possessing similar personalities does not make sense at all.
In summary, we become friends with others for
diverse reasons. We may become a friend of someone in a same social boundary. In
addition, there are lots of friends who do not share any personalities in common.
In this regard, I strongly disagree with the idea that people can tell about other
people by their friends. Fair: 17~23 점수: 18 일단 전체적으로 매끄러운 부분에 있어서는 지금 이 에세이를 잘 서술하였습니다. 하지만 문제가 되는 부분이 여러개 있습니다. 일 단 전체적으로 각 바디의 예시들이나 이유들이 주제를 명확하게 서포트 하는 거 같지 않습니다. 각 바디의 예시가 주제와 관련해서 개연성이나 연관 성이 많이 부족 해보입니다. 지금 이러한 이유와 예시를 서술하시면 주제를 벗어난 거 같다라는 느낌이 듭니다. 따라서 좀 더 주제에 맞게 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
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