▶ Your Answer :
There has been an ongoing debate over whether
the best way of learning about life is by listening to the advice of family and
friends rather than learning through personal experience. This is an intriguing
question because opinions concerning this issue can be relying depend on the
individual perspectives. In my opinion, however, I support that it is the best
way for people to listen to the advice of from family and friends for the following
reasons.
First of all, it is the best method for people
to listen the advice of their family and friends. Most people have their own subject
point of views. When people decide to do something their own thoughts they determine without
someone’s advice. People can be decided choose erroneous decision. To be specific, people
need listen should listen to advice someone’s advice such as their family, close friends, and
their teacher in school. it is extremely important for people to have the
person who can advise them about it. By
accepting objective advice, people can decide more precisely and effectively. from
my experience, when I was in high school, I did not have interest studying so I
just wanted to learn other activity such as learning act, singing song in local
contest, and taking cooking school. I asked my mom to enroll in acting school
but my mom and father wanted me to learn acting after enroll in college. It was
an important time for me because I had to take the SAT exam. They told me that
this time is important for you when you enroll in college you would have enough
time to learn varied activity like acting. So I accepted the suggestion and I could
determine more precisely and objectively for my future life. 그래서 명확하게 지금 이 단락에서 말하려고 하는 것이 무엇이지요? 명확한 설명이 부족합니다. 전체적으로 이 단락을 통해서 무슨 말을 하려고 하는지 명확하게 전달하지 못하는 거 같습니다.
In addition, listening to the advice of family
and close friends is the best way to learn. As modern society is becoming increasingly
globalized, has become increasingly globalized, many students required people who have broaden perspectives and receptive
attitude. It is important for people live in modern society to have opened mind
and listening other’s opinions. In other words, because most people belonged to
organizations or school so they should be more flexible and should communicate
together through listen their advice and varied suggestion listening to variety of suggestions For example, when I
was in university, I entered in singing club. at that time, my friend and I had
problem as to each other. We always differ the time of practice. Once, my
homeroom teacher advised me to follow my friend. I did not want to follow him
but I thought that we are one team. So, I followed his pattern or daily cycle.
We could make a good relationship. Through this experience, I realized that it
is an important to harmonize.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that it is the best
way to listen advice of family and friends. All things considered, it is my
belief that my argument regarding this topic has been effectively and precisely
delivered with the reasons mentioned above. Never should we forget that this
issue may have a huge impact on our future. Fair: 17~23 점수: 21 일단 전체적으로 특히 첫 번째 바디가 무슨말을 정확하게 하려고 하는 건 지 모르겟습니다. 간결하게 본인의 의견을 전달하는 것이 가장 좋을 거 같습니다. 독립형 에세이에서 가장 중요한 부분은 본인의 에세이를 통하여서 상대방을 설득 할 수 있냐 입니다. 지금 이 에세이 로는 설득하는 데에 있어서는 어려움이 있는 거 같습니다. 각 바디들이 구체적으로 어떠한 말을 하려는 지 명확하게 명시하는 것이 가장 중요할 거 같습니다. 이러한 것만 주의하면서 서술하시면 더 좋은 점수가 나올 거 같습니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |