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What is the most important condition making friends? We don't have to work hard or to create something very well with friends. For most people, their friends are the important person when they need to enjoy their life. Therefore, it is better to have friends who are similar to me. This is because I am able to be comfortable and happy while I am with people who are similar to me.윗 부분에서의 질문하는 부분은 인트로에서 적절치 않는 부분인 거 같습니다. 의문으로 시작하는 것 보다는 훅으로 시작한 후 상대방의 의견을 제시하는 것이 가장 기본적인 인트로 구조일 거 같습니다. To begin with, it would easy to share my hobbies if my friends are similar to me sharing hobbies can be easier when friends are similar. In other words, I can not enjoy my leisure activities with the people who are different from me. This is very serious problem because there is no one around me when I want to do enjoyable things. So I prefer friends who can enjoy playing the games or the sports I like. For example, I really like playing the tennis, so I am used to go to the tennis twice a week since I was a child. When I was in university, I made a friend as soon as I was a freshman. He and I were quickly closed, and I really liked him. However, he was not interested in playing the tennis. So I had to find someone who plays the tennis with me. At that time, I spent most my time playing the tennis, so I was not able to be with him. For this reason, we naturally lost our friendship.뭔가 예시의 개연성이 없습니다. 주제와 연관성도 없구요. 좀 더 주제에 관련된 예시나 설명이 필요해 보입니다. On top of that, I need the person who can emphasize me. Sometimes I feel terrible and get stressed out. At the moment, if I can not share my thought and experience with my friends, it would be so harmful for me. Friends who have similar characteristic with me would be understand my situation and tell me proper advice. For instance, when I am in trouble, I go to one of my friends who is very similar to me are very similar. He usually give me good advice and make gives me good advice and makes me comfortable after listening to my words. Because he is similar to me and have the ability understanding my problems, I can always trust him. Likewise, when he have has a problem, he is used to come to me. To sum up, if I have a friend who is similar to me, I can enjoy my hobbies and share my problems with him. In this regard, it is better for me to have friends who are similar to me. Fair: 17~23 점수: 21 일단 너무 구어체로 서술하였습니다. 독립형 에세이인데 전체적으로 어떠한 느낌이 드냐면 자신의 얘기를 독백한다라고 생각 이 듭니다. 이러한 느낌을 주게 하는 것 보다는, 독립형 에세이의 적합한 문장의 형태로 서술하시는 것 이 좋을 거 같습니다. 또한 인트로에 구조가 적절치 않습니다. 전반적으로 개연성이 부족한 거 같아요 주제와 연관성이 있는 예시를 서술하는 것이 좋을 거 같습니다. 수고많으셧습니다.
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