▶ Your Answer : The reality people often encounter shifts an individual's experience. It is ironic to think an experience itself is affected by their past experiences. However, considering how the past experiences distort, transform, and misrepresent the reality people perceive, it seems clear that experiences can make differences in people's perspective. To prove one's perspective true, one should be able to justify his or her viewpoint and overcome objection. Though many people see as it is better to go to school early in the morning for learning, my perspective is it isbetter to go to school later in the morning for learning. (Need paraphrase) The concept of health strongly supports this theme. Starting school early in the morning is too stressful for students than starting later in the morning. This is because as modern society has increasingly been competitive, today's students have excessive school work at school and after class school. Since they should finish their excessive homework at home, they have always a short sleeping time for sleep. the Students have to wake up early in the morning for going to school, eventually causing chronic fatigue, lack of concentration and leading more lack of sleeping time. This will stress students out. In fact, stress is one of the primary factors of illnesses because it weakens the ability of immune system disorder fighting for diseases. For example, my father, a doctor of a general hospital in a city, always tells me that many of his young patients suffer from huge adverse health affect from stress due to lack of sleep depending on sleeping time. They come to the hospital to see him for stress related -relative ailments caused by lacking sleeping time. He has found the relationship between stress induced by lack of sleeping time and human disease such as insomnia, high blood pressure, and carotid artery thrombosis. In this sense, It is helpful for students to go to school later in the morning then early in the morning because they can increase sleeping hours their sleeping time. Truth must settlement at some point; only one perspective survives, and the rest subsides into history. (What does it mean?) In such a case, man must ceaselessly refine his view until it is finally accepted as truth. I have corroborated my perspective on this topic it is better to start school later in the morning for learning than to go to school early in the morning with health. It is time for a settlement.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 3 | Score | Fair 16-18 | - 모든 에세이에서는 적절한 paraphrase가 필요하며, 같은 문장을 그대로 쓰지 않도록 유의하여 주세요.
- Lack of sleep으로 초래되는 병명 현상들을 나열해주는 것도 좋은 방법입니다. - 예시가 하나밖에 적혀 있지 않네요.
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