▶ Your Answer : There might be
some people who believe that drivers do not have to pay a fee for driving in
busy city streets when there is a lot of traffic. However, I personally
disagree with the above idea for the two subsequent reasons; economy and environment.
First
of all, paying a fee for driving will definitely pivotal role in boosting
national economy (동사가 필요해 보입니다 지금 처럼 문장이 끝나다 보면 어떠한 말을 하려고 하는 지 모르게 됩니다). It will create many jobs in transportation industries, thus
promote consumption, which provide a company more capitals. This will have a
huge impact on making much healthier economy. The perfect example of this is a
Seoul, one of the complicated cities in the world. The city used to be
ill-organized and inconvenient due to outdated facilities such as old road and
traffic system. It changed little by little after the mayor undertook a project
on changing it based on scientific research. A lot of money was invented to
renovate facilities and to conduct research. Also, many scientists and workers
for traffic were hired to provide convenience to the citizens. Now, hundreds of
new road and smart traffic system give them more opportunities to drive
effectively and efficiently.
Second,
environment is very important matter in our society becoming worse. As far as
environment concerned, the more cars are on the road the worse environment is
in our society. By making drivers pay a fee for driving, they become to
hesitate to drive a car and try to use public transportation such as bus and
subway. According to the research conducted by JH, one of the most renowned
research centers in the US, paying a fee for driving affected the number of
cars on the road. The same study also noted that a level of pollution in the
city was declined because people who always drove a car were unwilling to drive
it because of payment on the road. This indicated that paying a fee for driving
make environment be much healthier, which are crutial to our lifes.
To
summarize what I mentioned above, I am for the notion that payment for driving because
it is good for our economy and environment. By using alternative vehicle,
people’s life becomes to be much happier than before.
Good: 24~30 점수: 27 지적할 부분이 없는 독립형 에세이입니다. 독립형 에세이에 있어서 가장 중요한 부분이 있는 것은 설득력 입니다. 지금 이 에세이는 설득력 부분에 있어서는 잘 서술된 거 같습니다. 군더더기 없이 아주 매끄럽고 논리적으로 잘 풀어나가면서 서술한 거 같습니다. 이러한 부분은 독립형 에세이에 있어서 가장 필요한 거 같습니다. 논리적으로 풀어나가기 때문에 잘 서술된 거 같습니다. 수고많으셧습니다. |