Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A person should not make important decision alone. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. |
There is an argument among people over whether when people make decision, a person should be provided idea from the other people. Some people state that making decision as alone >> by themselves ( 혼자서 스스로 라는 뜻입니다.) helps people to reduce their regrets in order to ( in order to 뒤에는 동사가 옵니다. ) >> for the responsibility of their own decisions, but I believe that people should request other people to help for making decisions for following reasons: various opinions and preventing hasten decisions.
To begin with, if someone asks a solution to solve a problem to other people, they can get various and helpful ideas from the others, and it would be helpful to solve their problems.( 생략했습니다. 앞에 형용사 하나만 넣는게 좋겠네요.) Generally, only one person's ideas tend to be narrow because of limited experiences(생략), so it is better to be given solutions >> for solutions to be given (to 부정사의 의미상 주어로 solutions을 사용 했어요) from the other people such as parents, teachers, and friends. To support, in my case, I had prepared participating >> to participate in a music competition, so I uesd to practice every day and every night. However, the problem was that the day of music competition and school's exam are the same day. I had thought alone, and finally, I made decision to give up the participating in ( 동명사엔 관사가 붙지 않아요) >> the participation in competition, and I announced this decision to my friends. (표현이 너무 딱딱한거 같아서 바꿔 보았어요) >> let my friends konw my decision. After they had heard that news, they given >> gave an advice for me that I should required >> require (조동사 뒤엔 원형이 와야죠) exception to teacher for my competition. I had adjusted >> took the advice and my teacher comprehended about >> take into account (고려하다)my situation, so I could participated >> participate in the competition, and I got a first grade. If I never heard their advice, I couldn't make the good result in the competition.
As to the second >> Secondly or Second, getting solutions from the others would prevent to make >> making hasten decisions. Commonly, unlike many people know that solving problems alone helps to minimize their regrets, making decision as alone >> by themselves or alone would be more harmful. Moreover, it would increase people's regret. To illustrate, according to the research done by department of seoul national university in 2007 of Korea, 85% people answered that they had regrets over their decisions which were made by themselves because they always awaken better way to solve problem after making decision by their own. They further stated that when they had required solutions to other people for making decision, it was more helpful to hinder their regrets because they provided opportunities to think twice during the period of hearing opinions from the others. On the other hand, only 15% people answered that it was more regretful to make decision with others. In this regard, it is obvious that allowing others' idea to me prevents regrets by reducing hasten decisions.
To conclude, making decision with the others might be helpful to yield good result when it comes to variety ideas and reducing regrets.
두번째 이유는 clear 하지 않네요. 무슨 말인지 잘 모르겠어요. 문법적 오류도 많은 것 같구요. 문법쪽에 더 신경 쓰시면서 글을 쓰셔야 할 것같아요. |