▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly, contributions in society play a significant role in
people's daily lives in many of the places where they work or play. Some people
think that the contributions of scientists and engineers are more important
than the contributions of artists and writers, while others do not think differently. Both sides
may have their own reasons to support their views. If I were asked to choose
one, I would say that the contributions of artists and writers are more important. There are
several reasons as follows.
To begin with, the contributions of artists and writers make more
chances to enjoy cultural life for many people. If there are assistance for
artists and writers who can not have achieved their goal achieve goals, it leads to advance
in different types of art and cultural industry. As a result, not only is it
good for artists and writers, but also many people who are overwhelmed with
working and studying can take pleasure through enjoying cultural life. For
example, a city that I live in made built a gallery for
artists. It allowed artists to exhibit their own works
without any conditions. Many young artists began to visit the gallery for their
works and wanted to show their arts. With many young artists, the gallery could
have their own's distinct characteristics. Consequently, it enabled to gather a
lot of visitors who wanted to enjoy art at ordinary time.
Second,
there were already a lot of contributions of scientists and engineers, even
now. It is time to support more to artists and writers. In society, it is
important to make scientific growth because of social and economical
developments. As a result, with scientific progress, many societies could
achieve social and economical advance and it lasted for comfortable life and
economic success. On the other hand, there were relatively little contributions
of artists and writers. So, it is hard to work actively because of economical
reasons. If there are a lot of chances to contribute for artists and writers,
they will be able to improve the cultural aspects.
As
I mentioned above, I think that the contributions of artists and writers are
more important than the contributions of scientists and engineers in society. Good: 24~30 점수: 24 전반적으로 매끄럽게 에세이를 잘 서술하였습니다. 본인이 원하는 의견들이 다 나누어진 듯한 느낌이 들었습니다. 부족한 설명도 없었고 문법적인 오류들도 없었습니다. 각 바디의 예시들도 이유를 잘 서포트 하고 있습니다. 문제가 별로 없는 에세이 입니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
|