It is more important to invest on children than on universities for development of a country.
Some people said say that it is better to invest on to the college students (rather) than children. But I strongly believe that the government should spend the more time and money on children. to the program. This is because more a mount people can get benefit from the investment on children. program and it will be able to bring about the country's highly economic development.
* the program이 구체적으로 무엇을 말하는지 언급해주어야할 것 같습니다. 갑자기 program 이라고 하면 무엇인지 알 수 없습니다.
To begin with, the government should invest more money for the children to the program rather than university students. The further more students can take advantage from the investment. In other words, actually there is are more elementary school students rather than enrolled university students. There is no doubt that the government's budget should be used in the place where many people exist, so that they receive the benefits. As not every graduated high school students get to enter the university, there is are always more children rather than university students.
As not all high school graduates go to a university,
On top of that, the country as a whole can get further more benefits when there is more investment to the children rather than college students. because children have greater potential for our economic future. To put it differently, the tutor who less than 10 years old do not decide what to do or it said that they open the further possibility in their career. This is the government want develop certain industry the field in a the long run, the better education of children will be get a the higher results rather than investment for those who are already educated.
sometimes, tutors who teach less than 10 year old children do not decide what do do, so they say (that) it would be helpful to be supported by the government financially.
Even if the government wants to develop a certain industry field in the long run, it is better to educate children.
To sum up, if better invest to the children rather than college students , not only the more amount of people can get advantage from the program, but also it will be helpful for the improvement of country's economy economic. For these reasons, I agree with these statements that it is further more important to invest on children than university students for development of the a country.
To sum up, it is better to invest on children than college students because not only can more people get advantages, but also it will be helpful for the improvement of country's economy.
일단 rather than 이 상당히 많이 반복됩니다. 비교급 문장에서는 more ~ than 으로도 충분하구요. 그렇다고 해도 불필요하게 많습니다. 문법도 오류가 많습니다.
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