▶ Your Answer :
It is often a matter of debate over whether the Internet is helpful to the students for their study or not. I firmly would like to say that the Internet gives students to a very big help.
The first reason is that students can find information easily with the Internet. Another reason is that they can freely discuss with other students on the web-site.
First of all, I believe that the Internet allows students to search for information very quickly and easily. In the past, we had to go to a the library in order to search for information.
Nowadays, we don't need to go to a the library because we can find that information within the Internet. We are able to have more time to study than before. For example, the web-sites such as Naver, Daum, Google, etc can give us the available information. All we need to do is just fill the title name on in the web-site and then we instantly see the information. (그런다음에 이러한 편안성이 있다는걸 강조해주면 좋겠네요 ㅎㅎ)
On top of that, I think that students can discuss with other students on the web-site for their study. Generally, in the past, we can only discuss or ask questions in person with friends or teachers. However, with the help of the Internet, we can ask and debate some questions on the web-sites freely. It can help us to form our way of thinking broader and can increase our knowledge. Let me take the Daum's CAFE. We can make spaces for debating and asking some topics over study. Everyone can enroll and then take part in that space without any difficulties. (여기서도 설명만 하지말고 그로인해서 많은 도움이 됬다는걸 보여줬으면 합니다)
To sum up, the Internet can help us to find useful information with a high speed and without any barriers. Moreover, the on-line web spaces also can have the chance to debate some academic questions amongst students.
All things considered, I strongly agree with the statement that students can study very effective with the help of the Internet.
Comment: 전반적으로 논리흐름이 상당히 괜찮네요. 짧고 간결하게 이어가주시네요. 하지만 본론에서 closing sentence를 꼭써주세요. 그러면 자신의 논리가 더강해보이고 설득력 있어보입니다. fact와 progress만 주는경향이 있으신거 같은데 outcome 까지 주시면 좋겠습니다. 수고하셨습니다.
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