Some people (might) want to be a friend friends with one that has with a sense of humor. Humorous friends always relieve tension from works, and talking with them can be a welcome distraction from daily competitive lives. Some other people likes knowledgable (intelligent/smart) people who have diverse thoughts. , because they can help people who are in trouble by diverse perspectives and useful advices. (friends can learn a lot from~ 이라고 짧게 표현하는게 좋겠네요!^^) Although both humorous friends and intelligent friends are beneficial for me, I believe friends should be trustful trustworthy and reliable (trustworthy/reliable 중 하나만 써도 돼요^^), because this reliability (between friends) builds such friendship is usually stable well-balanced/stable friendship, and this leads to the deep deeper/closer relationship.
(잘 써주셨는데, 서론 앞부분 = 도입 을 너무 길게 빼지 않는게 좋아요!^^ intelligent, humourous friends 는 길게 쭉 설명하실 필요 없어요! 간단하게, 그런 성격을 가진 친구들이 어떻게 helpful한지 OR 왜 helpful 하지 않은지만 써주세요~! bold한 단어는 문법 실수입니다^^. some people 은 복수죠^^ 따라서 like!)
Most of all, reliable (friend(s) 로 바꿔주시는게 좋을것같아요~!) person makes a stable relationship with others. I think being trusty each other having trusts in each other is the most important factor in friendship. (Otherwise, we should always afraid of being betrayed.) Unreliable friends sometimes ignore their roles when they are needed, (?) or avoid their responsibilities. For example, last year, three of my friends joined Tekken Crash, a famous video game competition. Since it was too competitive to win, they devoted their all their efforts. In that time, During then, Jun Hyun, who was usually an unreliable friend missed the team, because he went to a better team. left all the other team members behind, and joined the better team without a notice/word. Even though he was a good gamer and had a sense of humor, his action was really critical to decision broke our friendship apart. The team chemistry was destroyed. If they (if the two of my friends) (they 라고 하면 누굴 지칭하는지 잘 모르니까요^^) had been more heedful careful to choose a member, they would have had a better result. In this sense, reliability is the most significant criteria to me. for me.
(예제를 통해 무엇이 "reliability/trust" 의 중요성을 emphasize 하는지 정확히 써주세요~^^ careful to choose a member 했다면.. 이 아니라, "그 친구가 더 reliable 했었다면.." 이 더 좋겠죠!
그리고, 어떤식으로 그 친구가 reliable 하지 않았는지를 좀더 구체적으로, 간단하게 써주시면 좋을것같아요.)
Moreover, a reliable friend usually maintain a good relationship and therefore I can easily build a deep the stronger/deeper/closer friendship with him. (친구를 "한사람" 으로 표현하기 보다는, "친구들" 로 묶어서, 그들의 closer friendship 을 설명하는게 좋을것같아요^^) Some friends are good at first, but far apart as time goes by. (콤마 뒷 문장이 incomplete 합니다^^.) When talking with a friends for a long time, (OR for long), I can get to know more about him deeply. One of my friend, One-Ki, I first met him in the elementary school, is now my university buddy. ("원기, 나는 그를 초등학교때 만났다, 는 이제 나의 대학친구이다." 말이 어색하죠?^^ 콤마 중간에는 "원기" 를 수식하는 complete 한 문장이 아닌, incomplete 한 문장을 써야합니다. "원기, who I met in elementary school, is ~" 이렇게 친구를 수식하는 incomplete 한 문장을 써주셔야해요^^.) I know a lot about him because we have been friends for such a long time. I really get along with him very long time. He also know my personality and temperance, thus we usually do not have to talk. (do not have conflicts) He knows my deep inside, so he help me very well. One day, I brought my fiancee to him and he gave me a lot of advices. In this sense, I think reliability is the most significant characteristic between friends. for making friends.
(bold 한 부분 모두 문법,스펠링 실수입니다~^^ 한번 더 체크하세요!!
우선, 친구가 <<어떻게>> reliable 한지 에 대한 설명이 없어요..!
예제에서 설명했던 "원기" 라는 친구가 어떤면에서 reliable 한 친구인지, 글을보고는 알수가 없어요..ㅠㅠ
예제를 보고 알수있는것은, 글쓴이와 친구가 오랜 친구이다. 서로에 대해서 아주 잘 알고있다... 전체적으로, 이것뿐?
그리고, 마지막에 finance 를 가져갔더니 친구가 advice 를 줬다. 고 하셨는데, 이 부분이 사실은 어떻게보면 친구에 대한 믿음을 가장 잘 설명해줄수 있겠네요! 앞에 "초등학교때부터 알았다" 이후 부터는 문장이 조금 반복되는 느낌이 있으니, 그 부분 대신에 금전적인 부분을 예로 들어서 reliability 를 설명하는것이 좋을것같네요^^!!
또, "친구가 나에대해서 잘 안다" 를 표현하기 위해서, 여러 문장들이 반복되었는데, closeness 를 강조하기위해서 "he seems to know me better than I do sometimes." 라고 간단하게 적는게 더 좋을것같아요.
그리고, finance 를 가져갔다? 라고 하기보다는.. 좋은 예제를 위해 약간의 "거짓" 도 섞어서, (^^)
"financially unstable 할때, 다른 친구들은 자기의 이익부터 챙기기 위해 finance (financial management) 에 대해서 잘 모르는 나에게 이것저것 추천하면서 더 나의 situation 을 worsen하게 만들었다. 하지만 그 친구는 stopped me 하고, 나의 situation에 fit 하는 option을 (loan 이나 investment 같은) provide 해줬다."
이런식으로, 좀 더 자세하게, strong friendship 을 통해 reliability 를 더 확실히 하고, 그를 통해 다시 stronger friendship을 다질수 있게 되었던 것을 강조해서 써주세요~!!
아, 예제는 항상 사실이 아니어도 됩니다! 아시죠?^^)
To summarize, I prefer to make a friend with reliability. Firstly, I can do everything with him in stable mood and consequently, he will be my long, trustful friend.
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