▶ Your Answer :
These days, there are a lot of many types of news media abailable (available)to the common public such as news papers, internet news section and television news. And each typle (type) of news media has a veriety (variety) to choose from. Some people think that since the reason 'news media' exist is to tell the common public what is going on in the world, thus the news media has no choice but to stay unbiased in order to convay (convey)information. However, I stronly (strongly) disagree because the news media lives and exists on their its profits, making actions like such as giving positive news on big companies and governmant (government) or write colorful and exptic nes (이 부분은 뭘 말하려고 했던 거죠?) to attract the public making them to read their news rather than other news media.
To begin with, news media strives for their its own advantages. They may exist to convay (convey) information to the general public, but they are also a company of their own (자세한 설명이 필요할 거 같아요 어떤 부분에서 company of their own인지 잘 모르겠습니다). So, at the end of the day they would do things that give advantage to their company. Major cooperations (cooperation) notice this, and have various events that profit the news media in exchange in order to make their company get portrayed positive. They tend to give major funds to the news media, and at the same time, telling them to speak positively about their cooperations (cooperation).
On top of this, news media tends to make their its contents colorful and dramatic in order to make people watch or read their its individual news, because this leads to better profit (왜 더 나은 이익을 낳게 되는지 설명 필요합니다). In doing so, they alter the truth, making them biased than ever. These 'fake news' most often start with a dramatic headlines. For example, few days ago, I read about a child who was reported missing. The child had the same name as some celebrity. The news media I read the article about this made the incident look like the celebrity who had the same name as the missing child was missing (문법적으로 이상합니다 어떤 뜻을 말하려는지 설명 필요합니다), instead of the poor child herself. This made a good click bait, making people watch the particular news media article than others who reported the same news.
To sum up, news media sometimes behave immoral to uplift their profits biasing news in diffrent (different) ways. In these reasons, I think news media are biased and we can't cannot (에세이에서는 줄인말 사용 x) rely on them. Fair: 17~23 점수: 20 일단 문법적으로 오류가 너무 많습니다. 특히 철자 적으로 틀린게 많기 때문에. 작성자가 에세이를 쓰시고 난 후에 proofreading을 꼭 해주시길 바랍니다. 또 다른 문제점은 이유나 설명 예시들이 적절하게 사용되었지만 며몇 부분에서 구체적인 설명이 필요해야지만 이해가 되는 부분이 있습니다. 구체적인 설명을 명시해주시길 바랍니다. 수고하셨습니다. |