▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly, good relationship with others plays a significant role in people's daily lives. Some people think that it is better to be more like others than to be different from others while others think differently. Both sides may have their own reasons to support their views. If I had to choose one, I would say that it is better to be more like others than to be different from others. There are several reasons as follow. 너무 똑같은 문장을 반복적으로 말하는 거 같습니다
To begin with, it is good to be like others to succeed because it can help them to easiliy socialize with others easily. When people have many things in common, they are likely to mingle can mingle well with each other. For example, Tokyo University research center analyzed date from two groups of young adults. The first group consisted of those who have general and ordinary characteristics and the other group was made up of those who have unique and distinctive characteristics. The researchers found that the former is likely to outperform outperforms the latter by 15 percent at work. In particular, the first group had a better relationship with their colleagues and completed their project faster than the second group. This implies that being more like others than being different from others is the key to succeed.
In addition, when people try to be like others, it allows them to cultivate important qualities to succeed. Trying to be like others for a smooth working envrionment environment requires them to be diligent, passionate, and self-disciplined. When such personal traits are developed, it brings about a better result. For instance, my youngest brother used to be lazy and selfish. It was difficult for him to be punctual and abide by rules because he liked to be special. He changed gradually after he strated stated to try to be like others. He realized that his punctuality helps him to work well with others while his laziness negatively affects everyone. Without this experience, he would still have been lazy and selfish.
All things considered, the advantages of being like others far outweigh those of being different from others for the reasons I have mentioned above. All in all, the importance of being ordinary cannot be overestimated in the pursuit of success in life. Good 24~30 점수: 25 잘 서술된 독립형 에세이입니다. 독립형 에세이에서 가장 중요한 부분은 본인의 에세이를 통해서 다른 사람을 설득 할 수 있냐 입니다. 지금 이 에세이는 구체적인 예시와 설명을 통해서 왜 본인이 주제에 대해서 이러한 생각을 할 수 잇는 지를 잘 알 수 있엇던 에세이엿습니다. 문법적 오류들도 별로 없고요. 아주 구조적으로 잘 서술된 에세이입니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
|