▶ Your Answer : The lecturer argues that the methods used along with harnessing coal pose several drawbacks. This contradicts the reading passage's claim that coal is a beneficial natural source that does not harm the environment. First, the lecturer asserts that the conversion of coal into a gas is not eco-friendly. He explains that the gasification of coal fundamentally requires fossil fuels for heating; fossil fuels emit pollutants to air and, therefore, are as hazardous as the raw coal. Not only that, according to the lecturer, water gets polluted during the removal of the impurities of coal. Since the consequence of water being toxic is no better than the pollution by coal, coal conversion is likely to only worsen the environment. This casts doubt on the reading passage's claim that converting coal into a gas can reduce the risks or harming the environment. Next, the lecturer contends that the method of using static electricity to extract the pollutants is unreliable. While the reading passage suggests that the charge of static electricity can successfully remove the harmful particles emitted by coal, the lecturer claims that the charge, in fact, only abrades a fraction of the ash particles. Also, the static electricity emits carbondioxide which can gradually lead to the climate change. This counters the reading passage's claim that the process of removing the pollutants using static energy is safe and beneficial. Lastly, the lecturer affirms that the filter bags the reading passage suggests as an alternative are not efficient. Since the fabric filters require excessive energy when it comes to operating, it is not worthwhile exploiting. This
Fair: 17~23 점수: 18 일단 마무리가 덜 된 것도 있지만 이 에세이에서 나타나는 가장 큰 문제점은 리딩에 대한 설명이 많이 부족합니다. 통합형 에세이에 있어서 가장 중요하게 보는 것 중에 하나는 한 주제에 대하여서 서로 다른 정보를 가지고 있는 리딩과 리스닝이 어떻게 비교하고 반박하는지를 보여주는 지를 알아가는 것 입니다. 지금 이 에세이 같은 경우에는 리스닝에 대한 정보는 충분하게 잘 서술되어 있지만 리딩에 대한 정보는 한 문장으로만 서술하였습니다. 한 문장으로 리딩에 대한 정보를 끝내는 것 보다는 리스닝을 좀 더 반박할 수 있는 부분들을 더 서술해 주시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
시간이 다 되서 마무리를 못 지었습니다..ㅠ 미완성인채로 평가해주시면 감사하겠습니다....ㅠ |