▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that individualy acting on enviorment issues are individual acting on environmental issue is better than facing with others. However, in my opinion it is more effective when acting with others when encountering environmental issues because it is better when it is more than one and people tend to follow more when there is more than one person. for the following two subsequent reasons. To begin with, when facing environmental issues it is much more beneficial to have more than one person. It will boost up the speed for solve the problem to solve problems and there will be more creative ideas for it's issues. For example, when I had a big project from the school, I was assigned with other colleagues to work together. The assignment had too much things to cover so it was impossible for one person to handle. It was very efficient to have team members to work on this project we shared more creative idea and it made it faster to complete the task. Also with the environmental issues it is slimier to project that are assigned from school. Lots of people should work together so the problems are solved more efficiently and quickly. On top of that, people tend to follow more when there is more than one person acting on environment issues. When solving environment issue it requires people to act such as using more public transportation, collecting garbage from the floor, doing more recycles, and so on from the floor and recycling more. According to the study conducted by New York Times, it explains that when people faces environmental issue they tend to follow when lot of people is already doing it. This explains why single person can not change or solve environmental issues. To sum up, it is more efficient and can encourage more people to act when having more than one person to act on such issues. In this regards, I maintains that it is more better to act with others when facing environmental issues.
Fair: 17~23 점수: 22 일단 이 에세이를 읽으면서 가장 먼저 느낀점은 구체적 설명의 빈약입니다. 특히 이러한 면모는 첫 번째 바디에서 많이 들어납니다. 첫 번째 바디에서 필요한 정보들에 대한 구체적 설명이 있어야하는데. 지금 이 에세이 같은 경우는 첫 번째 단락은 전혀 구체적이지 않게 넘어가는 거 같습니다. 또한 철자적 오류들이 많습니다. 제가 첨삭한 것을 보시고 숙지하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셧습니다. |