▶ Your Answer :
Having higher ability to achieve success is one of the major reason why I think the ability to make many new friends easily is more crucial for happiness. Nowadays, as society improves, business environment changes rapidly. So the company requires people to acquire as many new knowledge as the can to fully adjust in the new environment. Therefore, the ability to collect the new ideas and to adapt to the environment is very important to achieve success. If people can make new friends easily, then they could adjust to any new environment easily. This is due to the fact that they have more chances to learn new things easily by having conversation and sharing ideas with the new friends. Consequently, people could achieve success, which lead them to become more happy. For instance, according to an article I have read on the Time Magazine, the CEO of Kim and Chang which is one of the top law firm in Korea, interviewed that his success is largely due to his ability to become familiar to new people easily. He says that as he make new friends, he could learn new information from them. Moreover, people with the ability to make many new friends easily could reduce stress. Many people have a lot of stress when they start the relationship with other in a new circumstance. This is mainly because people feel lonely without any friend in the new place. However, if people can make many new friends easily, then they could solve this problem easily. Therefore, they can minimize the stress which burdens them. For example, when I was 17 years old, I moved to a new high school. I got a lot a stress because I had no friend in the new school. I din not know how to make new friend, I felt lonely and I even didn't did not want to go school. With this stress, I could not live a normal happy life, not eating anything because of the melancholy mood. Although I had some old friends, they could not help me because we were not in the same new school. This experience shows the importance of the ability to make new friends for happiness. Limited: 12~16 점수: 16 일단 문법적인 부분보다는 구조자체가 에세이가 아닙니다. 인트로와 결론은 어디있나요?? 독립형 에세이에서 가장 중요시 여기는 것이 에세이 구조입니다. 전반적인 독립형 에세이의 구조는 인트로 바디 결론입니다. 하지만 가장 중요한 인트로와 결론이 빠졌기 때문에 완성된 에세이가 아닙니다 비록 이유와 설명이 잘되어 있어도 말입니다. 수고하셧습니다. |