▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly, a city which has old,
historical buildings plays a significant role in people's
daily lives in many of the places where they work or
play. Some people think that a city
should destroy old, historic building and replace them with modern buildings, while others do not think differently. Both sides may have their own reasons to
support their views. If I were
asked to choose one, I would say that it is better
to try to preserve its old, historic building. There are several reasons as follows.
To
begin with, each countries can make culture images. Old and historic building
usually present their cultures and arts at that time. It is important for
keeping to keep their assets to have their own distinct characteristics. For example,
when I traveled Kyoto in Japan, which is well preserved, I watched various
buildings which contain historical events, moments, and inventions. After I go
on a trip visited, the images of Japan is changed. have changed By watching historic buildings, I
realized that maintaining their own country's old and historic building allows
people to make culture images.
Second,
children can learn valuable things from old, historic buildings. Buildings
which have historical meanings give the opportunity to think something for
children themselves; how they can make it, what is it made of, or how they can
move it, and so on. For example, after my younger sister went on a trip with
her friend in Gyeong-ju, which has a lot of historical buildings, she began to
study the buildings which she watched. She said that there were was a lot of
curious things. As a result, she could broaden her knowledge through historical
buildings. This example shows that if a city preserve preserves old and historic building, it will help children to learn
valuable things.
As
I mentioned above, I agree that a city should try to preserve its old, historic
building rather than destroy them and replace them with modern buildings. Good: 24~30 점수: 24 일단 문법적 오류들과 불필요한 문장들이 많았습니다. 제가 첨삭한 것을 보시고 확인 하시길 바랍니다. 이러한 부분 이외에는 아 주 구조적으로 잘 서술된 에세이입니다. 본인의 에세이를 읽으면서 왜 우리가 옛것을 보존해야하는지를 정확하게 잘 깨닳을 수 잇었던 에세이였습니다. 즉 구체적인 설명과 예시들이 본인의 이유를 잘 서포트 해주고 있습니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
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