▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly, having friends play plays a significant role in people's daily lives in many of the places where they work or play. Some people think that it is difficult for the rich to become friends with the poor, while others think differently. If I had to choose one, I would say that it is hard to say that becoming friends for the rich with the poor is not difficult. There are several reasons as follows. rich can become friend with poor people for the following reasons.
To begin with, it is not difficult for the rich to become friends with the poor, because people tend to enjoy making friends from different backgrounds. Getting to know people from different backgrounds allows them to widen their perspectives. When they widen their perspectives through making friends from different backgrounds, it is likely to bring a better result in life Such behavior brings about a better result. For example, my youngest brother used to be seflish selfish and wary to strangers. However, he changed gradually after he started to participate in a club in which many people from different backgrounds belonged there were many people from different background. He realized that his open mind and kindness could make the overall environment better while his wary attitude negatively affects everyone. Without this experience, it would still have been difficult for him to deal with many new situations in his life.예시가 이유와 전혀 연관이 없습니다. 이 에세이의 주제는 부자 사람들이 가난한 사람들과 친구가 될 수 있냐에 대한 것인데 전혀 이러한 부분이 예시에서는 언급되지 않았습니다.
In addition, it is not difficult for the rich to make friends with the poor because having friends from various backgrounds is likely to reduce reduces their stress. The variety in people they regularly meet allow them to experience multiple things, and ultimately make them enjoy their lives better. For instance, many research teams including Tokyo University research center found a huge different between two groups of young adults. The first group consisted of those who have friends with various occupations and the other group was made up of those who have friends with same occupation. The researchers found that the first group was more likely to be satisfied with their lives and have the lower stress level than the latter.
All things considered, it is not difficult for the rich to become friends with poor for the reasons I have mentioned above. All in all, the importance of having friends from different backgrounds cannot be overestimated in the pursuit of happiness. Fair: 17~23 점수: 19 일단 전체적으로 내용면에 있어서는 설득력 있게 잘 서술하였습니다. 하지만 문제가 되는것은 각 바디의 예시가 주제와 벗어 났습니다. 예시 뿐만아니라 이유도 주제와 전혀 연관성이 없는 거 같습니다. 이 에세이의 전반적인 주제는 부자들이 가난한 사람들과 친구가 될 수 있냐에 대한 것인데 이러한 내용은 전혀 없었던 바디들이였습니다.좀 더 주제에 연관을 지어서 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
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