대체 에너지를 사용해야 할 것인가? |
Since industrial revolution, modern people in some advanced countries have enjoyed the use of fossil fuel such as coal, petroleum, and natural gas. However, many environmental scientists have indicated that the danger of using constant fossil fuel<지속적인 화석연료를 이용하다뇨,,?아마도 using fossil fuel constantly를 의미 하신게 아닌지> Although fossil fuel are cost-efficient and it is easy to capture and can be converted to available energy, the fuel have a<영향은 uncountable로 알고잇는데,,> negative effect to nature. Moreover, an amount of fossil fuel is diminishing rapidly. Therefore, I agree that people should use alternative every in stead of fossil fuel.
To begin with, the use of alternative energy can help preserve the environment in the long-term. It is obvious that constant use of fossil fuel have a great negative influence on our environment. Most environmental scientist have warned company to make use of environmentally-friendly <앞에 파란색으로 친 문장은 대체에너지가 장기적으로 보았을때 환경에 도움을 준다고 제시 되어있는데 어떻게 장기적으로 도움을 주는지 전혀 언급이 안되어 있다는,,,>
On top of that, alternative energy help human beings to use energy freely. In these situaitons<위에 언급한걸 의미한다고 쳐도 구체적이지 않음>, most energy located in the everywhere will be used up in five decades. Therefore, humanities have to discover new energy or make new renewable energy to maintain our lives. Alternative energy can be a solution to maintain industries and local economy. In fact<이것보다 however가 더 낫지 않을 까요?>, most alternative energy are renewable and profuse in this planet
In conclusion, I strongly believe that alternative energy is necessary to ensure better future<순간 이문장을 읽다가 질문을 다시 읽어보게 되네요,, 질문은 대체에너지를 사용해야 되는가?를 묻고 있는데 conclusion 에 와서 미래에 반드시 필요한건 대체 에너지다 라고 말하니까 약간 헷갈립니다. 개인적으로는 introduction에서의 똑같은 문장이 와도 되니까 질문에 직접적으로 답하는 문장을 써주시는게 날듯해요,,> . As I mentioned above, the use of alternative energy can help to protect the environment, and it makes people enjoy their lives without energy concern. I think that the alternative energy is no longer the matter of choice, but it is only a solution to solve the protection of the nature and current energy concern. |