It is often said that children shoud play sports for competition or contests because they can imporve their ability to compete with others effectively. However, I believe that children should play sports for fun for two reasons: children can relieve stress by execrising for fun- it is mentioned above, so you don't need to writer "for fun" again. and improve one’s social skills by interacting with others.
To begin with, children can blow off their stress by physical exercising- exercising is enough. It is obvious that while playing sports for competation or contests may provide more -> bestressful to children because they spend most of their time studying academic subjects at school, and thus they need to have refreshing time for fun through working out. According to a study conducted by Seoul National University in 2007, as stress relief options, exercising sport activities ranked top and then shopping, traveling respectively. Also, after exercising sports, children stated that they gained productive energy ??? it's akward. This implies that starting exercise sports activities for fun enables children to get refreshing energy, and thus -> links for the cause and result can focus more on their work effectively.
->needs for closing statement.
In additon, playing sports for fun can offer have an chance children chances to improve their social skills. This is because exercising sports such as team sports force ->enable children to interact with others. Thus, children can have an opportunity to learn how to cooperate with one other, making compromise whereas sports for competition and contest may cause conflicts between team members. For example, when I was in high school, I joined the baseball team. As a team, I had to follow the team stratgy. In order to win other teams, we had to be the one with our team, but one of baseball team members , Jun Kim, went off in his own ways against the team strategy. In the end, we lost and broke down the relationship with him. I realized that playing sports for contest were not a good way to develop social skills with others.
->Wrong example for your statement.
You better compare situations with teams playing sports for fun, teams playing sports to win the prizes, mentioning negative impacts of the latter.
2-> It would have been better if you have put closing statement.
In brief, children should play sports not for competition, but for fun because children can hace -> have more chances to relieve their stress and improve their interpersonal skills without I don't know why you put "without" did you intend to say without having conflicts?? It dosen't make sense. conflicts. In this sense, the importance of exercising sports for fun can not be underestimated in our society.
Comments: On the whole, this essay is not bad=)!!
Though I cannot say it's great but it's not bad
Just keep your good work.
Considering the writing, it seems like you've been lived in abroad. Arent you?
Plz pay a bit of more attention to sentences that you wanna convey your message !
Have a good day !
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