It is often said that getting a university education is the most crucial factor for success in life.
Some might disagree with this statement because attending a university or college does not guarantee one’s success because real success depends on one’s hard working.
However, I firmly believe that getting a university education is most significant for success for two reasons: to get a better job and to develop social skills.
To begin with, getting a university education plays a large role in having a promising job.
It is common that when people have satisfactory their own job(when people satisfy with their own jobs) , they are more likely to be successful. Of course, many companies have different preferences and perspectives, but these days, most companies put a highly value on undergraduate degree when they hire employees and even require higher score on GPA.
>> just순서; undergraduate degree, even require higher scores on GPA when they hire employees... To demonstrate, according to the Ministry of Labor of Korea in 2006, people who had a university degrees got three times more job that they wanted to than those who did not get a university degree. >>> people who had degrees got their desirable jobs three times more than those who did not have degrees... In addition, people can be more likely to improve their social skills by attending a college. This is because, modern society requires people to have not only professional skills but also well- rounded personality. To succeed in this competitive society, People have to develop their social network and equipped with the most up-to- date information. Getting a university can help these things.>>되도록이면 thing쓰시지 마시구요ㅣ;
Getting a university education can help people to develop themselves in many aspects..
In university, people can have more chances to meet diverse people and get information by joining a club or organization. By getting along with group members and socializing with them, these activities allow people to develop their interpersonal skills and exchange valuable information each other. For example, when I was a sophomore, I joined a study group. At first, as members of group were not familiar with each other, we had a hard time adapting the group. However, as time goes by, through lots of discussion and research activities, we can share valuable ideas and thoughts, we could get easily latest information easily and learn to respect other’s opinions. This was very helpful for us to broaden social net work.
뭐 되신다면 끝에 한문장이라도 토픽을 정리해줄수있는 문장을 써주셔도 좋구요ㅋ
In brief, in my opinion, getting a university has a positive impact on a person’s success.
People can get a good jobs and valuable experience by attending a university.
All in all, importance of attending a university cannot be underestimated in this modern society.
잘쓰시는데 가끔 문장속에 순서가 좀 뒤바뀔때가 있으시니까요 주의하시구요,
getting a university는 말이 안되구요,
그리고 people을 쓰실때는 되도록 뒤에 복수로 써주시구요,,,eg) people can get good jobs...
참 정직하게 잘쓰신 에세이네요 ^^
굳렄, |