여러분의 3분이 저의 3시간을 아껴줍니다.
여러분들께 부탁만 드린다는 것이 좀 마음에 걸리네요. |
The lecturer discusses the drawback of digital library by certain reasons. The opportunity of accessing online library is focused on limited people, it has people time consumed and demanded, as well as it also has a problem related to intellectual property. These disadvantages, I mentioned above, contradict the reading passage’s claim that there are a lot of advantages on online library.
First of all, on-line library is affordable only for people with computer. The poor who have no computer might have no chances to surf the ocean of information. In the other words, the affluence of information is centralized to narrow wealthy group. And this monopolization of information would be serious as far as time goes. This casts doubts on the reading passage’s claim that it is going to help people to access information more easily.
Next, finding information is more demanding and time consuming. It is going to take more time to find information in online library than ordinary book based library. People hardly find the valuable information in online, since the online has a large amount of information. Distinguishing information which people really want to find could be hard works for common people. This rebuffs the reading passage’s point that online library saves the time, and it makes us more conveniently.
Finally, the hardest thing of the online library is the intellectual property problem. Sharing information in online is too susceptible to be used as illegal purpose. Writers’ intellectual property would be intruded by sharing context which they write so hard. It leads to discourage writers. This thus refutes reading passage’s view that the world will be more vigorous by online library. |
The lecturer discusses the drawback of digital library by certain reasons. The opportunity of accessing online library is focused on limited people, it has people time consumed and demanded, as well as it also has a problem related to intellectual property. These disadvantages, I mentioned above, contradict the reading passage’s claim that there are a lot of advantages on online library.
여기서요 limited people다음에 , 쓰는거아니죠. 마침표찍고 새로시작하거나 ; 로 이어줘야죠.
as well as it also 문법 틀리죠. It also has a problem related to intellectual property.
끊어주시면서 as well as 삭제하세요.
첫 paragraph flow 좋아요.
First of all, on-line library is affordable only for people with computer. The poor who have no computer might have no chances to surf the ocean of information. In the other words, the affluence of information is centralized to narrow wealthy group. And this monopolization of information would be serious as far as time goes. This casts doubts on the reading passage’s claim that it is going to help people to access information more easily.
affordable 이라고하셨는데 accessible 이겠죠?
chances (X) chance (O) 왜냐면 The poor은 다수를 가르키는거구 그래서 have 쓰셨죠?
두번째 paragraph flow 좋아요. 서로 주장을 충돌시키는것 잘했습니다.
여기까지만 할게요. 글의 flow는 좋습니다. 다만 word를 select하는데 좀더 신중하시길.