> > 2009-06-24 10:34:27, 'anri' 님이 쓰신 글입니다. ↓
■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer | |
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Topic : | It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay. |
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There is an old Korean saying, "As horses have to be sent to famous pasture, children should be sent to a big city". The implicit meaning of this verse is that only big cities have high-level education, since every(every는 단수!) resources have has been concentrated on the big city (되도록이면 한문장안에서 일관성있게,big cities 썼음 뒤에도 big cities) . In my opinion, however, the verse might be wrong soon because of harsh educational environment of big cities and increasing high level education in rural areas.
First of all, growing up in the countryside becomes more helpful for children to stay not only physically but also mentally healthy. The standard of living in rural area has been soaring since the local government started to put in a lot of money to have(build) better infrastructure. The local governments' investment was originally motivated to stop its decreasing population and to attract young adults who can contribute to increase its population by giving births. Conversely, environmental issues in a big city has have been more vital. The more environmental issues arise, the more harsh the people in the big cities feel to raise their children. For instance, there is a research that children in a big city are 3 times more likely to suffer from atopy dermatitis which is a typical environmeantal disease than those in a small town. That's why many parents move to an rural areas(한곳으로만 가지않으니까요;) with their young children recently in Korea. 음, 아무래도 한국의 면에서만 디스커스를 한거네요?
좋은건지, 안좋은건지는 모르겠지만 ; 그냥 집어주고 싶었다는.. ^^: ㅋㅋ
Moreover, the education system in rural area has been improved rapidly. Since many young parents want to move to rural area for their children for their children's health problem, schools in the countryside has been trying to meet their educational demands. In fact, many alternative schools which allows children to learn about the importance of healthy life style were established recently. Also, some private schools which offers high level education to children has have been moved to rural area. Some of them offers so luxurious dormitory to the children that their rich parents feel comfortable to let their children to stay in the country side while they stay in a big city for their work. As a result, the barrier of educational level between rural area and urban area has been blurred and actually some of rural areas started to provide even better educational opportunity for children.
To conclusion, raising children up in the countryside has several benefits that urban area can not provide. Since rural area has gotten rid of its unfavorable factors for education for example short of educational institutes and poor infrastructure, rural area would gain more popularity in the future among young parents who is are looking for an ideal place to educate their children.
for example이라는 단어같은건 결론에서는 되도록 쓰시지 마시구요;
특히 단수복수....를 많이 틀리셨다는...헷갈리지 마시구요; ㅋ
a rural area 이렇게 쓰던지 아님 rural areas이렇게 쓰시던지 둘중에 하나, 그냥 rural area라고 쓰시지마시고
굳렄. | |
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