Now days,(nowadays) many people think that there are many merits if our children would live in countryside because there are more friendly environments which are very helpful to maintain health due to clean air, water and foods. (many people think that living in countrysides provide many merits for children as it has more friendly environments such as clean air,water and foods....)
However, I do not agree with this opinion because a big city enables us to have good environments such as excellent studying places and medical facilities.
Firstly, children can increase(enhance? improve?) more studying(academic) performance because a big city provides with excellent studying environment such as good academic center( good academy and schools..). For instance, my lovely nephew some country side city in Korea which is far away from capital of Korea. >> my nephew lives in a countryside in Korea... He did not do well on studying and he just focus on playing with his friends. He always hang out with friends with no interest for studying at all.. However, after transferring from the city(countryside니까 city 대신 다른걸루.. the town 이라던가..) to Seoul which is the capital of Korea, his attitude had changed about academic subjects. He enjoyed the excellent education centers in the big city. since there is an excellent education-center which is one of the famous place just located in big city. After studying in that place. His studying performance got getting better and better. If he had stayed in the country side, he might not show good performance> he might missed the opportunity to perform well academically.. (문장 중간에 대문자로 쓰지 마세요 ^^)
Secondly, children can get safer environment than countryside because there are many good hospitals in big city. For example, yesterday, chosun-ilbo which is one of the famous newspapers in Korea announced that children who lived in a big city have higher rate of survival rate if they would have critical symptom such as a heart disease. Because there are many prominent hospitals which can give high level of hospital services. If good medical hospital had not been in a big city, the statistics would show differently. - develop this paragraph more in depth..
In short, I strongly believe that children should live in good places which can offer not only good educational services but also good medical things.
되도록이면 thing 쓰지 마시구,
그래머 더 공부하시구요,
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