▶ Your Answer :
Art and music play an important role in our life. People
sometimes listen to the music and get comfort after hard work. Art is deeply
involved in the daily life such as the patterns of blankets, attire, and
furniture. I believe the art and music is are as important as math, history,
science and language. Therefore, I agree that the art and music should be
mandatory in school with following reasons.
To begin with, art and music increase children's creativity.
In classroom, if pen and blank pages are given to children, they start to draw
in the paper without any guidance. They just portrait whichever whatever they want or
feel. The painting may seem just scribbling but it helps them imagine and
create new feature. In the research conducted by Korea Psychology Association,
the children who learned art and music in the school showed higher creativity
level when compared those not. This example clearly shows that art and music
enhances their imagination.
On top of it, every subject is interconnected. Science was
initially form of an art. Music was closely related to mathematics. The ancient
people did not divide the subject. The wise man was painter, scientists, writer
and even philosopher. For example, well-known architects, scientist, inventor
or even artist, Leonardo Davinchi, gained his first reputation as artist. His
work in the book was so well drawn that people found that the anatomy of the
human body was just piece of art. As there are no boundaries between subjects,
art and music is are also worth studying.
To sum up, the research supports that music and art improves
children's creativity. In addition, all the subjects are closely related that
no subjects can be left or ignored. For these reasons, I believe that music and
art should be taught to children in the school. Fair: 17~23 점수: 22 전반적으로 설명이나 이유 예시들은 아주 적절하게 사용하였습니다. 하지만 다만 아쉬운점은 전체적으로 에세이가 짧습니다. 좀 더 본인의 이유에 대해서 구체적인 설명이 필요할 거 같습니다. 구체적인 설명을 통해 상대방을 좀더 확실하고 명확하게 설득 할 수 있기 때문입니다. 수고하셨습니다.
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