▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly, teachers' capacity plays a significant role in people's daily lives in many of the places where they work or play. Some people think that all teachers should be required to be educated every five years in oder not to fall behind the trend while others think differently. If I had to choose one, I would say that it is important for all teachers to be educated regularly in order not to fall behind. There are several reasons as follows.
To begin with, taking part in education programs for teachers regularly is important because they can cultivate important qualities for success to succeed. It requires them to be diligent, passionate, and self-disciplined. When these personal traits are developed, it is likely to bring brings about better results in their students. For example, Korea University research team analyzed data from two groups of high school students. The first group consisted of those who had been was taught by a teacher who had participated in an education program every five years and the other group was made up of those who had been was taught by the one who did not take part in such a program. The researchers found that the fomer was more likely to have higher score on SAT test former has higher grade on SAT test scores. In particular, they had a longer attention span, a stronger passion in their tasks, and a better ability to delay gratification. On the other hand, the second group tended to get distracted easily, procrastinate, and act on impulse. This implies that being taught by a teacher who are regularly educated is the key to success academically as well as professionally.
In addition, being educated every five years is beneficial to teachers because it can improve their overall happiness in life. When they are educated regularly, they tend to feel greater sense of achievement. For instance, when my youngest brother was a middle school teacher, he often deppressed depressed thinking that his life has bacame become an exhausting routine. To survive in a competitive world, He had to spend whole day reading and writng writing class materials, hoping that he could outdo others. Fortunately, he was able to deal with such pressure and stress in a safe way by taking part in a regular training course for teachers. He was able to meet many teachers from different areas and share the updated trend in the sector. By doing this, he could let off some steam.
All things considered, I strongly believe that it is good for teachers to be educated every five years for the reasons I have mentioned above. All in all, the importance of being regularly educated for teachers cannot be overestimated. Fair: 17~23 점수: 23 일단 문법적인 오류들이 많이 보입니다. 제가 첨삭한 것을 보시고 확인 해주시길 바랍니다. 이러한 문법적인 오류들은 전체적인 에세이 플로우를 방해합니다. 문법적 이외에도 두 번째 바디 부분이 설명이 좀 빈약한거 같습니다. 이유에 대한 구체적인 설명이 필요해보여요. 좀 더 구체적으로 이유에 대한 본인의 의견을 더 서술해 주시길 바랍니다. 이것이외에는 크게 문제되는 것이 없습니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |