▶ Your Answer :We are living in the society of information and there are so many sources of information such as newspapers, books, internet, radio, and television. We are living in the informative society where newspapers, books, internet, radio and television flourish. Among these things these mediums, the internet seems to have has the greatest influence on the modern society. However, I think that the television has the greater influence on people than the internet due to the for the following reasons: first, people do not consider the information obtained from the internet seriously, and second, the number of people who are affected by the television is much larger than that of people affected by the internet. 이 에세이는 티비와 인터넷의 차이점을 보여주는 것이기 때문에 books newspaper and radio를 다 말 안해도 좋을 거 같습니다.
First of all, people can find much information from the internet, but they do not believe it as a whole although information can be obtained from internet, the information is unreliable. Rather, people ask to specialists or use other sources such as books or television news when they need some correct knowledge When people need accurate knowledge, they utilize other mediums such as books or television. For example, when we want to know about political issue, we can find some knowledge on the internet. However, we cannot believe the information thoroughly because the source of it is not identified well. We can find the believable credible political issue from the television news instead. Because the information from the news is made from the organization which has a public confidence, we can believe it. In this regard, the television has a larger influence on the public lives. Television has a larger influence on the public as information is derived from credible sources.
Secondly, the number of people who can use internet is much smaller than that of people who can watch the television over the world. It is because computers are needed to use the internet. For example, my father does not know how to use the computer, so he cannot use the internet. However, he can watch the television because there are no any requirements to use it. There are so many people who are in the same situation with my father that who cannot use the internet. Therefore, the number of people affected by the television is much large than the counterpart of the internet, and the influence of the internet is much restricted on the human society. In summary, the information from the television is much believable, and the number of people who can use the television is much larger. Therefore, I believe that the influence of the television is much greater than that of the internet. Fair: 17~23 점수: 18 단어 선정부터 시작해서 전체적으로 문법적 오류들이 너무 많습니다. 특히 어법상 무슬 말을 하려고 하는 건지 모르겠는 부분들이 많았던 거 같습니다. 장황하게 본인의 의견을 주장하는 것 보다는 간결하게 서술하시는 것이 좋은 점수를 받는데에 있어 더 좋을 거 같습니다. 또한 두 번째 바디는 너무 짧아서 구체적으로 무슨 말을 하려고 하는 지 모르겠습니다 좀 더 설명하시는 것이 좋을 거 같습니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
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