▶ Your Answer : Some take it for granted that people would choose fossil
fuels rather than alternative energy sources because the price is cheap and it is abundant.
However, contrary to this, it is clear that people need to choose alternative
energy sources. The rationale behind this is that price is supported by government and it has more
potential. in contrast to this notion, we should select the alternative energy sources for the following two subsequent reasons.
First of
all, people should choose alternative energy sources because the matter of
price would be solved price concerns can be solved when selecting alternative energy. To be specific, the government would afford the price of
the usage of alternative energy sources. For example, there is promotion of
‘solar-energy town’ in Korea. The government supported and offered all solar
energy panel and system for that town. It supported this town as an experiment
for application for further other towns. It shows that the government can
support and solve the problem related with the price of alternative energy.
Moreover,
fossil energy does not have any potential nowadays. Specifically, fossil energy
such as oil is depleted these days. For
instance, there were abundant fossil energies in the past. They can dig ground
and found oil. However, people already extract oil too much and there are only
a few places that secretes oil naturally. This causes the increase of oil
price. Furthermore, people need more complex technology to dig deeper under the
ground to extract more oil. This needs new technology and equipment, which
needs a lot of money.
In
conclusion, I agree with that people need to choose alternative energy sources
rather than fossil fuels based on the reasons I mentioned above: price
supporting from government and negative potential of fossil fuels.
Fair: 17~23 점수: 20 전체적으로 내용 면에 있어서 빈약함이 드러나는 독립형 에세이입니다. 보통 독립형 에세이에서 중요한 부분을 차지하는 것 중에 하나는 에세이가 얼마나 설득력이 있나 입니다. 지금 이 에세이 같은 경우는 설득력 부분에 있어서 결함이 보여지는 거 같습니다. 이 이유는 전체적으로 자신의 이유에 대한 구체적인 설명이 많이 부족합니다. 설명이 많이 부족하기 때문에 이 에세이를 통하여서 왜 대채 에너지를 사용해야하는지를 알 수 있어야 하기 때문에 좀 더 구체적으로 설명을 할 필요가 있습니다. 수고많으셧습니다. |