▶ Your Answer : Undoubtedly, accepting criticism from others plays a significant role in people's daily lives in many of the places where they work or play. Some people think that those who do not accept criticism from others cannot be successful at working in a group while others think differently. If I had to choose one, I would say that accepting criticism from others can help people to succeed at working in a group. There are several reasons as follow.
To begin with, having a open mind to criticism from others can help people to be successful because it can cultivate important qualities needed for success in a group. To accept criticism and change the way they used to behave requires them to be diligent, passionate and self-disciplined. For example, Tokyo University research team analyzed data from two groups of young adults. The first group consisted of those who habitually accepted critism from others and actively changed their habits and the other group was made up of those who had negative stance about criticism from others. The researchers found that the former was more likey to get higher salary than the latter. In particular, the first group had a longer attention span, a stronger passion in their tasks, and a better ability to delay gratification. On the other hand, the second group tended to get distracted, procrastinate, and act on impulse when they worked in a group. This imples that accepting criticism from others is the key to success academically as well as professionally.
In addition, when people accept criticism from others well, it can contribute to an increase in their overall happiness. Accepng criticism from others allows them to act and think differently. When people change their way to act or think, it is likely to bring a better result at work. For instance, when my youngest brother worked in his previous company, he often felt depressed thinking that his life became exhausting routine. To survive in a competitive world, he spent whole day reading and writing massive amount of documents, hoping that he could outdo others. Fortunately, he was able to deal with such pressure and stress in a safe way by taking criticism from others. He strated to exercise regularly, read fictions and spend more time with his family. By doing this, he could let off some steam. Without this experience, his life still would have been stressful.
All things considered, I strongly believe that accepting criticism from others allows people to be successful at working in a group. All in all, the importance of accepting criticism cannot be overestimated in the pursuit of success in life. Good: 24~30 점수: 26 대채적으로 간결하게 본인의의견을 잘 전달한 에세이 인거 같습니다. 이러한 에세이는 독립형 에세이에 가장 적합합니다. 이유가 뭐냐면 본인의 에세이를 읽고 난 후 왜 이러한 의견이 좋은 지를 잘 설득 하고 있기 때문입니다. 앞으로도 이렇게 에세이를 서술하시면 더 좋은 점수가 나올거 같습니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |