■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words. ■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
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▶ Topic : It is better for people to raise children in rural areas than in cities |
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▶ Your Answer :
It is often believed that raising children in rural areas is much better than in cities. They (they=who?) probably think that it is healthier for kids. However, contrary to this idea, I firmly believe that raising children in urban areas has more advantages than in rural ones. This is because cities can provide good education, and children can enjoy the convenience the city life brings.
To begin with, children living in the cities can have the good education system. Nowadays, the high-quality education is the requisite to succeed in a competitive world, so raising kids in the city is the best investment to help them to succeed. For example, according to the study conducted by Korea university, it has shown that children living in urban areas usually matriculate in a college and get high-paying jobs after graduations. On the other hand, the children in rural areas seldom enter the college, so they usually have low-paying or part-time jobs. The researchers also said that depending on places where they live, their reputation can be changed. (how is the education system different? the curriculum? the test? different subjects? better teachers? how??)
On top of that, raising up kids in the city is still more convenient than in the countryside. This is because there are a lot of better facilities such as the good transportation systems, malls and movie theaters. Therefore, they can do what they want rightly. For example, when I was 8 years old, I lived in the Gosung - the rural area. I really wanted to watch Road of the Rings series, but in my hometown, there were no movie theaters. So, I nagged at my parents to go to the nearby city to see the movies, and thankfully my parents did it. However, It took 5 hours to go there, so I could not concentrate on the movies at all. That moment, I really wanted to live in the city.
To sum up, the city can give the good education and a convenient life to people. In this regard, without any hesitation, I strongly suggest that bringing up children in cities is the better way. |
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점수: 27/30
아주 잘 쓰셨습니다. 첫번째 바디에서 어떻게 교육 시스템이 다른지 좀 더 specific하게 리즈닝을 해주세요.
두번째에서는 시골에는 지하철이나 버스가 잘 되어 있지 않아서 시내까지 가는 것도 힘들었다.
이렇게 구체적으로 해주시면 더 좋았을듯합니다.
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수고하셨습니다. *^^*