▶ Your Answer :
Choosing a major seems one of the most difficult but important selection. Due to its significance, people often worry about what is the best way to decide it, and it gains more complexity when we have to recommend to our friends. (Awkward structure) Regardless of its own problem, I firmly believe that I would recommend a major which is time-consuming but brings more job opportunities.
Arguably, it can be hard-time to friend when he or she has to pay more attention and deal with more complicated subject compared to other students. However, I think that should it would be the desirable period of university life for student. Put differently, it has to be the incubating time for student that they can prepare subsequent life after they graduated the school. Thus, second option appears to have larger advantages than initial one. (What is it all about?) Let me support my this argument with my own personal experience. When I had to choose my major for university entrance exam, it was truly confusing which major I supposed have to take between community college and university because I wanted to work earlier and being independent. As a result, I chose to attend the choose university and I could get a job in a large firm in Seoul, which might not be available if I selected two-year community college. From this experience, I would like to advice to my friend to invest more time and effort to study their majors. Furthermore, there is one significant risk to take time-saving degree. (Mention what it is) This is because those degrees tend to have easy accessibility to other students either, which means not it is not competitive at all for company to hire them. Hence, even if they could get a job immediately after their graduation, it is highly likely that the position is quickly replaced or simple work. For example, there is one interesting survey that examined the relationship between effort on university period and satisfaction when they started their work after graduation by Seoul National University of Education in 2011. The research revealed that people who paid more time to study tend to have a great larger gap on satisfaction in their workplace. It would be one critical evidence that I had to give an advice to my friend to select later option,time-consuming and more future-oriented major.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 2 | Score | Fair 15-18 | - 어법 문제보다는 표현이 잘못되어 의미를 해석하기 어려운 문장들이 많이 보입니다.
- 논지에서 설명된 one significant risk가 무엇인지를 명확하게 나타내주세요. - 결론이 누락되어 있습니다.
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