▶ Your Answer :
For most, the internet is-has an importance role in our lives. There are obviously many opinions regarding this topic but it is evident that it is beneficial for people to use the internet for the following two reasons. People can gain a lot of information and become more sociable.
First of all, people can procure-gain information and knowledge about what they do not know immediately linking-though the internet. Computers, cell phone, portable device, there are many tools such as Computers, cell phone, portable device (And what do you want to say here) to access the internet -and those have easy way to search information.- This has led to -people getting information and- expanding knowledge a lot. To take my personal experience as an example, 6 years ago, I was in university, I had to go to some libraries and find materials for my report in person. I had to check many academic articles which seem to be relevant to topic that I was going to write about. Then, I made copies of them, reread each page and started to write my report, -moreover-,but I could not find enough information. However, when I used the internet, I could -find information, check- easily find out academic article and save a lot time. -The same situation would apply to people who use the internet.- In this regard, It is beneficial for people to use the internet -when it is just easily to do so.- Secondly, another positive effect of using the internet is that it helps enhance their social life. These days people make a wide range of friends group which who have different backgrounds with -by using- the social network service. This let people have friendship with different types of people. In other word, people today make various friends without meeting them in person. In the past, it was hard for ppl to build a good relationship with ppl in different places.)when people set- letters At times, they lost connection with old friends -they could even image this kind of relationship and waste a lot of time. Actually, people in -present- the contemporary society, exchange a lot of information and communicate each other through online social network, -and by communicating with diverse people they build some conversation and social skills.-
To some, -it may not seem that it is beneficial for people to use the internet. However,- through the examples related to gaining information and becoming more sociable, one can logically conclude that people should use the internet because of getting an opportunity to have a better life quality.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 2 | Score | Limited 10-17 | - 틀린 문장구조나 어색한 문장이 상당히 많이 보이고 있어요. - 의미를 파악하기 어렵거나, 글의 흐름이 자연스럽지 않습니다.
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