▶ Your Answer : Some people think friends who are different are better than those who are similar to them. However, I disagree with them for two reasons. First, they can get the idea of each other’s worries well. Second, they can sustain their relationship longer than friends who are different from each other.
First of all, friends who have different opinions have difficulty understanding each other’s problem and worries. This is mainly because Also, people with different thinking can often fight with other opinions. Suppose that there is a person undergoing problem with his personality which is very shy and feel difficult to say hello to a new face. Would it be possible for the person who is vigorous and active to can understand his situation? The answer is no. People’s characteristic is inborn unborn so it is hard to change it, and also people have no experience with other personalities. personality. For example, I have a my friend who prepared an important presentation in her university. And she asked me how to speak well in front of many people. I couldn't didn’t understand the problem because I love performing in front of people so I told said her just to say what she you wanted. However, my friend got angry since I didn’t understand the situation. After that happening, we became distant. In this regard, I learned that it is difficult to be close to each other when two people who are different. 서로 이해를 잘 못한다는 것 자체가 단점인데, 자주 싸우게 된다는 부수적인 내용이 너무 많이 서술되어 있어서 논점이 불분명합니다. <서로 다르면 상대방을 잘 이해하지 못하는데-> 좋은 친구는 서로를 잘 이해해주고 위로해줄 수 있어야 하므로-> 이해를 잘 못한다는 것은 안 좋다>하는 식의 흐름으로 풀어내는 게 설득력 면에서 더 좋을 것 같아요.
Second, similar friends are easy to sustain their relationship. Usually friends spend lots of time together and also tend to have same hobbies. However, the same cannot be said for two totally different kinds of people. Everything they desire and pursue would be different and relationship cannot continue. For example, according to a survey done by a group of psychology majors in Korea U university, 73% of the people answered that they sustained relationship with friends who were are similar with them. They answered that it was much comfortable to talk with people who are in similar personality and situation. Thus they usually make friends in community groups which consists of people with similar personalities and experiences happening in life.
To sum up, I believe that it is better for people to make friends who are similar for two reasons that they can share their worries easily and they can also continue their relationship easily. Consequently, the importance of my view cannot be underestimated for these reasons I have mentioned above.
Comment : 서로를 이해하기 어렵다는 점이나 관계 유지 측면에서 주장을 제시한 점은 아주 좋습니다. 본론 내용을 풀어낼 때 논지를 흐릴 수 있는 부분들은 좀 더 정리하고 문단이 한 가지 요지를 분명히 드러낼 수 있게끔 수정&보완해주시면 좋을 것 같아요. 어색한 문장, 의미가 불분명한 문장들이 꽤 있으니 꼼꼼하게 체크해주세요~ 수고 많으셨습니다~!
Independent Writing Rubrics Score 3.5/5 An essay at this level is marked by one or more of the following : - Addresses the topic and task using somewhat developed explanations, exemplifications and/or details (일정 수준의 설명과 예시를 활용하여 문제의 요구사항을 해결함) - Displays unity, progression and coherence, though connection of ideas may be occasionally obscured (문맥이 모호한 부분들이 있을 수 있으나 통일성, 연속성, 일관성이 어느 정도 드러남) - May demonstrate inconsistent facility in sentence formation and word choice that may result in lack of clarity and occasionally obscure meaning (문장의 구성 또는 어휘의 선택에서 내용의 명확성이 떨어지거나 의미 전달이 불분명한 부분들이 있음) - May display accurate but limited range of syntactic structures and vocabulary (답안의 내용은 주제에 부합하지만 제한된 문장구조나 어휘를 사용함) |