▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that the extended family is not as important now as before. Although many people no longer live together with grandparents, parents, children, and relatives, I believe that extended family is still considered advantageous for the following reasons. Living with many relatives spreads parenting responsibilities around, not solely burdening parents as in the nuclear family. Also, kids benefit from a more relaxed atmosphere and have more sources feeling of love to draw from.
To begin with, extended family can distribute parenting burden. In modern society, parents are always bustling due to their works, and they select a babysitter to raise their baby inevitably. However, they are worried about baby’s safety because they don’t trust the unfamiliar babysitter entirely. If they live together with their relatives, they can relieve by taking care of their baby by their reliable relatives.
On top of that, kids are conducive to sources of love drawn that they can draw form their extended family. For instance, in my case, I lived with my grandparents until I entered the elementary school. Even though I was young at that time, so I can remember all of the things, but I can still engraved love that I received from my grandparents on my mind. They raised me up and gave their love and kindness than my parents did because my parents were busy due to earning money to grew me up. The memory which I received more sources of love in a more relaxed atmosphere remains and allows that I became a person who can give love and warm to other people in school or society because I have already experienced love.
To sum up, extended family members helpful to parenting responsibilities in this busy society, and kids who grew up in extended family have more relaxed personalities because they have underwent more sources of love from various extended family members. In this regard, I feel that the extended family is still regarded as important system as before.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | Score | Fair 18-20 | - 글의 논지는 좋은 편이나, 예시가 다소 구체적이지 않고, 전문적이지 않습니다.
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