▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that people can be satisfied
as they have what they want. However, in my opinion, no one can be satisfied
with what they have because people usually hope what they do not possess. There are
two reasons to support my argument.
To begin with, there are no possessions
which people really can have. To be specific, even though you might suppose
that you have one might suppose that one has something, it is not able to be yours forever that cannot be oneself forever. Environment or
circumstance around us always is vary varies from time to time, so people cannot grasp
anything in the end. Therefore, it is not possible for people to be satisfied
by having something. Let me bring up my personal story as an example. When I
was in university, I was very healthy. I used to work out in the evening, so I
was able to stay in shape. However, I could not be satisfied perfectly because
when I skipped the time of exercise, my weight was increased soon. At that
time, I realized that it is impossible to have physical health without working
out.
On top of that, people could not develop
their lives if they are satisfied with their possession. To explain, people
would no longer seek a way that makes them improve their lives when they just
stop to desire something. This means unsatisfying motivates people to get a
better life. For example, one of my friends entered a great university because
he always studied hard and got good grades during high school. He had never
been satisfied with his grades, although the grades usually were very
impressive. He tried to be a better student than before, which enabled him to
get a better goal. If he had been satisfied with his situation and just stayed
in his place, he would not get the opportunity to go to very popular
university.
To sum up, there are nothing which people
can have forever, and being satisfied cannot give people a better life. In this
regard, I strongly believe that since people normally want something which they
do not have yet, they are incapable of being satisfied with what they have. Good: 24~30 점수: 24 대채로 잘 서술된 독립형 에세이입니다. 독립형 에세이에서 가장 크게 보는 것은 본인의 에세이를 통해서 다른 사람을 설득 할 수 있냐 입니다. 다른 사람을 설득하기 위해서는 에세이의 내용이 논리적이고 개연성이 있어야 하는데 지금 이 에세이는 이러한 부분에 있어서는 잘 갖추어진 에세이인거 같습니다. 각 단락의 예시나 설명들이 이유를 잘 서포트 하는 것 뿐만아니라 논리적으로 잘 풀어나가면서 에세이를 서술한 거 같습니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |