▶ Your Answer : Unfortunately, people nowadays do not have much time to enjoy their hobbies. However, it is obvious that having something to enjoy besides a work is really important. We can relieve our stress and expand our social network enjoying doing something fun with other people.
First of all, having pastimes gives us a chance to relieve our stress that we get from the work or school. Whenever we are doing do something that we like to do, we can easily forget about things that give me a lot of pressure put a lot of pressure. Pastimes gives people a relax, and it will make people work more harder and effectively because people can work better when they are free from a lot of those pressure. From my sister's example, I could find that the hobbies were one of the important part in her life. She always enjoyed jogging after she got back home from her work. She once told me that she kept doing this because it made her feel much better, and she could concentrate her work better next day. This example is comparable to the people who need to go to their work everyday. I am sure that without enjoying hobbies, everyone's life would be more depressed.
Secondly. people can also expand their social network by sharing their hobbies with others. When we first meet the other people, we can get more closer to each other by talking about the same topic that we enjoy to do as a hobby. Moreover, joining a social group with people who have a same hobby is a lot of fun. It gives us a really good chance to meet lots of different people. For instance, giving my personal example, I made a lot of friends by joining the sports club at school. On every other weekend, we gathered together at the soccer field, and enjoyed many different sports together. I cannot forget the people that i met at there. As we can see in my personal experience, having a good hobby is also one of the way that we can make a new good friend.
To sum up, It is clear that enjoying our own hobbies is necessary to make our life fulfill. Having pastimes gives us a chance to relieve our stress and expand our social network. I strongly recommend to have a good hobby that we can really enjoy everyday. Good: 24~30 점수: 25 대채로 잘 서술된 독립형 에세이입니다. 독립형 에세이에서 가장 중요한 부분이라고 생각하는 곳은 본인의 에세이가 상대방을 설득 할 수 있냐입니다. 이러한 부분에 있어서 지금 이 에세이는 잘 충족하고 있습니다. 각 바디의 예시나 설명들이 이유를 잘 서포트 하고 있습니다. 본인의 에세이를 통하여서 왜 사람들이 자신과 똑같은 취미를 가진 사람들과 보내면 좋은 지를 잘 알 수 있었던 에세이였습니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |