■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words. ■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
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▶ Topic : moving to a new city or country is not a good idea because they will lose their old friends |
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▶ Your Answer : Some people think that moving to a new city or country is not a good idea because they will lose their old friends. However, in my opinion, new environment would be able to revitalize people, and they are able to increase adaptability and raise challenge spirit. To begin with, people moving to a new place would have to contact new neighborhood and they can find great pleasure in touching with new people. (touching with 라는 표현이 어색합니다. getting to know 등으로 바꾸어 주세요.) For instance, I moved from rural area to urban city at 10 years old. At that time, everything I saw was new to me. I realized many differences between two cities' life style and people’s behavior. Due to the fact that I met various friends in city, I could learn a lot of things from them. It encouraged me to study hard and associate with many new friends. So I am very pleased when I meet new friends after that time. On top of that, new circumstances can make people try to adapt to changes and challenge new things. According to a study by the Korean Social science society to know how changing environment impacts people’s mind and behavior, there were two groups monitored. The first group consisted of people that move at least 3 times. The other group was formed of (전치사) people that move one time or not at all. The researchers recorded that people who change their living place several times more overcome problems and would not be scared of challenges than the second group. This is because they don’t think that it is hard to do something in circumstance they don’t meet and they have expectation to meet new people. To sum up, people that live in one city or country don’t have any stimulation in life, hence lose their passion and do not improve their adaptability to new environment. In this regard, I strongly believe that it is good for people to move a new place in life. |
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1. 각 문단 시작 전에 tab 버튼 눌러서 들여쓰기 해주세요.
2. 내용 자체는 좋으나, 어휘 면에서 잘못 쓰신 부분이 많습니다.
전치사가 빠졌다든지, do 동사가 없다든지 하는 부분이 굉장히 중요할 수 있기 때문에
이런 부분을 꼼꼼히 검토해주세요.
3. 그리고 body paragraph가 많이 짧은 편입니다.
디테일을 많이 늘려주셔야 할 것 같습니다.
그리고 굉장히 example 위주이다 보니 주장하는 바는 제대로 전달되지 않는 느낌 또한 있습니다.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*