▶ Your Answer :
As time
passes by, most people are pursuing a successful life. All of us have ambitions
and goals to achieve. In my opinion, I think having realistic aspirations is
better than dreaming ambitious goals in life for some reasons.
First of
all, if they dream higher, it will make them feel pressured to achieve their
goals. So they might tend to have fewer possibility to make it.(문장의 정확한 뜻이 이해가지 않습니다) There was a
research in US about this issue. The result was that people who dreamt bigger
had higher rate to suicide and their happiness rate was low. To add more, I
think being successful is not related to money or achieving an ambitious goal
but connected to with real happiness. That is the reason why dreaming of big goals
is not good for us.
Next of all,
how can you say a great future when you don’t have a success day now? Since you
don’t know what will happen to you in the future, you need to focus on the day
given to you and do your best in everything. In my personal experience, when I
was young, I always worried about my future. (And나 But으로 시작하는 문장은 별로 좋지 않습니다. ) But my professor always told me
not to worry and just focus on today. So it helped me a lot not to have
ambitious dream but to be realistic.
To sum up, I
think being realistic is better than having tremendous goals because I can’t
predict my future and success is not ensured. For these reasons, I think it is
much better to pursue realistic aspirations.
몇몇 문법 오류들이 계속해서 보이는 편이긴 합니다. 하지만 proof reading조금 하고, 기본적인 문법 한번씩만 더 revise하면 괜찮아질 듯 하니 열심히 연습해주세요 어휘는 약간 한정적인 느낌도 들고, 중복된드한 느낌도 듭니다. 예를 들면 ambitious나 realistic같이 많이 나올 수 밖에 없는 어휘들 중심으로 다양하게 쓰시면 에세이가 훨씬 풍부해 보입니다.
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