▶ Your Answer :
According to the passage, the black and white color stripes of zebra have many defensive advantages. However, the lecturer pointed out that zebra’s mixed stripes carry misconception among people in general. To begin with, the lecture claims that the stripes of Zebras don’t do not (독립형 에세이에서는 줄인말을 서술하면 안됩니다) bring about the optical illusion toward their predators like lion. Specifically whereas the reading suggests that black and white stripes evade the optical illusion of incoming predator, as predator like Lion is (동사가 없습니다) hard to chase Zebra. However it is stated in the lecture that optical illusion doesn’t occur, they just chase and chase Zebra until it becomes tired and falls down. After that lion eats it. (리딩과 리스닝의 정보가 너무 뒤죽박죽합니다) On top of that, the lecturer also portrayed doubt on the suggestion of the reading passage that strips of Zebra confuse the predator as many Zebra altogether stay with their herd to confuse their predators. The main proof presented by the speaker was that predator like lion don’t like the single striped animal and chase the weakest herd member of them so that stripes of Zebra neither confuse nor their herd protect them from predators. Lastly, the reading passage indicates that Zebra’s stripes provide vital camouflage protection to hide themselves in certain environment so that predator cannot find them. However, on the contrary, the speaker claimed that they don’t hide themselves. According to him, this is because Zebra doesn’t use its stripes efficiently and moves along with its herd in an open place to captivate the predators. To sum up, contrasted with the suggestion of the reading passage, the lecture claimed that Zebra’s black and white stripes prove people with various misconceptions about it’s defensibility.
점수: 24 두 가지 부분에 있어서 오류가 있습니다. 먼저 각 단락들이 정리가 덜되어있습니다. 통합형 에세이에서는 각 단락에서 리딩을 말하고 그거에 반대하는 리스닝에 대한 부분을 말해야하는데 지금 이 에세이 같은 경우는 리딩 리스닝 리딩같은 형태를 가집니다. 따라서 구조가 잘못되었습니다. 두 번째는 통합형 에세이에서는 결론을 서술하면 안됩니다. 수고많으셧습니다. |