■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer | |
writing 두번 연속 페어페어 해서 20점, 21점입니다. 이건 good에 가까운 fair일까요? native와 함께 1:1 레슨 받고 있는데, 영문학 전공하신 이 분께서는 전체적인 문장 구조만 갖고 말씀하시는터라,(specific한 주제를 써라) 별 진전이 없네요...표현이 콩글리쉬여서 점수가 떨어지지 않나 생각해봅니다. 눈에 띄는 실수들이 있긴 한데, 저의 단점을 지적받고자 일체의 수정없이 올립니다. 30분 시간 재놓고 썼고, 시험 치고 와서 바로 썼기 때문에, 실수나, 표현의 부정확성도 거의 비슷할 것 같습니다. 한국식 표현 위주로 많은 충고 부탁드립니다.
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Topic :
After 20 years, people will be able to have more leisure time(free time) than now. Do you agree or disagree?
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As the technology is getting more development than ever before, most people believe that the amount of task both in work place and house hold will be decreasing. However, I am confident that the amount of work we have to do, never diminish even 20 years later. This is because that we have to do more work than before due to the development of technology, and get an additional job in order to earn money due to the increase the gap between the income and living costs.
The development of technology such as invention of mobile phone, laptop and the Internet brings about the increase of the amount of task in workplace. The employer of our company doesn’t have willingness to let us go home early. Even though we are able to finish our a work given by company earlier than before due to the developed technology service such as the 3G mobile phone, which provides a face-to-face call, the Wimax Internet ; the mobile wireless Internet service, and the GPS service for logistics by using a satellite. When I was a rookie in a company 13 years ago, I did not have mobile phone and GPS service. The waiting time for communication with a client by using the line-call during moving and the delivery time by using a map had been not allowed to finish our work early. When I was able to use a developed device in technology including mobile phone, I had expected to be able to go home early, if I would finish a work earlier than before. Unlike my expectation, I had to do more work rather than going home early. The my boss gave me more work as less time than before.
In addition to, people have to get an additional job so as to earn money to make up for a deficit because of the increase of living costs in both of quantity and quality. The quality of life demanded by people is gradually increasing in developed countries and developing one. As a result, to pursuit a high level of life, we have to pay to various issues such as a travel, a skin care, and a expensive car. In my case, to survive tough job market due to the global recession, I had to contract with a salary cut down by company. On the other hand, living costs - the oil price, the fare for public transportation, all of taxes, the rent for house – are still high. In order to make up for lower salary, I had to have additional part time job. I have to work both of the day time for regular job and the night time for irregular job. I am not able to have free time.
Let me think about our future. I firmly believe that we never have more free time than before. Even though the technology is dramatically developing, and the economy is surprisingly growing, we will be unable to feel free. People have to work more hard and earn more money as much as developing of technology and growing of economy. | |
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