잘쓰시네요 ^^ 그래머나 단어선택이 좋으신거 같아요
After I came to New York, one thing I was fairly amazed was that people feel very comfortable in terms of highly developed public transportation: Metro and Bus. Not only that, if a person pays 80 dollars per month, he or she can unlimitedly take transportation opening around the clock. Needless to say, investing the gevernment's budget into public transportation make it possible for people who live in urban areas to promise great comfortableness,(=investing ~budget into~transportation allows people to live with great comfort in urban areas) but I cannot drop a reasonable doubt(doubt reasonably) that all citizens especially people living in countrysides cannot benefit from public transportation given that only big cities are exclusively allowed to have(use) public transportation. Therefore, from my standpoint, the government should put(invest or use) their budget to enhance local roads and highways.> 이게 Intro인가요? Intro라면
간단히 주제를 디스커스하고 말하고자하는 토픽을 확실히 쓰시는게 나을것 같네요;
One great advantage of focusing on building roads is that many people would no longer have a tough time with traffic jam. This(Traffic jam)-(reader가 보기에 this가뭔지 헷갈리지않기위해) is a quite serious problem all over the(those or omit) developing and developed countries because it causes many negative effects such as high rates of car accidents and drivers' extra time consuming. If the government starts constructing new roads or expending sizes of roads, this problem will eclipse(be improved) dramatically.
In addition, many companies will benefit from building new roads as they are able to spend less money and save extra budget by using faster and cheaper transportation of for goods. For example, America could grasp strong economic power due to spending a great amount of time and money for improving roads construction. In this respect, many people believe that (it attributes economic success to development of public construction especially roads. )-> that development of public road construction attributes to economic success both nationally and internationally.
Finally, (특정한 나라를 이야기하는게 아니라 overall이라면 the 를 빼시길;) investing the government's budget into building new roads allows (them) the nation to overcome a big dielema: population's concentration concentration of population. Although many countries attempt to deal with concentration of population in big cities, conventional record shows that it is an arduous task. However, planing out mass roads construction makes it possible for people to decide to live in an another city. To demonstrate,as an example, Korea used to be infamous for phenomenon of mass population in the capital city. Hence, to solve this problem, the thvernment high percent of their budget building new highways and local roads as well as satellite cities adhacent to a capital city. As a result, recently population of capital city is decreased constantly, 이 paragraph 이 좀 messed up된부분이 많네요; 끝까지 집중력잃지 마시길;
Albeit development of public transportation bring had brought many advantages, people still depend on their lives more on their own vehicle more than on bus or metro. Therefore, to improve everyone's comfotableness, it is reasonable to make a decision to invest large amount of the gevernment budget to build local roads and highways.